366 Days to the Real Me

30 Day Mini-Challenge - Day 2

2012-01-20T11:03:00.000-08:00

Weight: 224.6 (lost 2.2 lbs)

Yesterday I did 20 minutes on the elliptical in the morning. I was going to do another 20 when I got home last night, but work kicked my butt and I got home about 2 hours later than usual. So I said screw it and went to bed instead.

Food was good:
Atkins protein shake for breakfast
South Beach protein snack bar
Atkins protein shake for lunch
Missed afternoon snack
Dinner was a sandwich made with whole grain bread, a slice of smoked ham, a slice of colby jack cheese, lettuce, tomato, pickles and red onion (it was AWESOME!!) However, I was still starving so I had a banana. And a small bowl of pasta.

I didn't work out this morning. I was tired and slept in. I sorta feel bad, but since I'm going to be on my feet moving boxes at work all day, I decided to stop feeling bad and start feeling awesome! (ok, that was a bit of a Barneyism. That's How I Met Your Mother's Barney, not the large purple dinosaur. Though I do love you.)

I'll update tonite.

30 Day Mini-Challenge - Day 1

2012-01-19T07:09:00.000-08:00

RULES: Workout everyday. No white flour or sugar. 100 oz. water.

Starting weight: 226.8

Ok, that sucks. That is .8 lbs more than I was on January 1st. :(

But over the next 30 days, I am going to KILL IT!

Day 10 - Need to come at this from a different angle

2012-01-10T20:01:00.000-08:00

I am tired and run down all the time. I can't seem to get enough sleep. And I feel guilty for not exercising. I did do 30 minutes on the elliptical last night after work. And then proceeded to eat a ton of crap. Well, enough that I felt ill afterwards. I slept like crap last night. Could NOT motivate myself to get up and workout this morning. Ended up making poor food choices today (though they did include sushi and veggie chips, so not the worst either.) I'm PMSing which means that I'm having intense sever middle back pain. After a few days this will move down to my lower back, and then TOM will be here. So I'm feeling extra crampy and in pain and generally BLAH.

Have you heard enough excuses yet? Me too.

So I am going to try something else. I'm letting the exercise go for now. I'm going to concentrate on healthy eating. Period. When I get that under control, then I'll start working on adding exercise back in. But I think I need to just focus on one thing at a time. I need to get my water intake up, and I'll work on that at some point too. But not now. I'm just going to focus on Healthy Eating.

I can do this!!

Elizabeth, I'm going to get back to the MyFitnessPal thing. I was using Bodybugg but since I'm not tracking my calories burned right now, it's not optimal.

Day 9

2012-01-09T14:54:00.000-08:00

So I did great for a couple days. Then not great. Then OK. Then Awesome. Then terrible for two days.

All in the first week. WTF??

Why can't I do this? It's like I've lost my will to care. Except I do care. Expect I'd rather just sleep. I find myself mindlessly web surfing for hours in the evening. Or in the morning when I should be working out. I've talked myself out of exercising just about every morning. Like this morning, I got up, put my workout clothes on, gave myself a few minutes of checking email to wake up and get in the groove. And then spent the next hour convincing myself that I really didn't have to do it. And so I didn't. I just sat there, websurfing, watching the extremely boring morning news and basically vegging. How is that a way to start the day? It's like I'm talking myself out of living. I have so many things that I needed to do today and I'm just in mental limbo. It's like my brain is taking a nap but my body is still walking around trying to pretend like we're totally awake.

I can't tell you how badly I want a nap right now. And I got plenty of sleep last night. PLENTY. I'm not physically tired. I am mentally exhausted. I'm just burnt out. I spent my day off vegging in bed. I did take Sean and Skye to see the Adventures of TinTin, which they both LOVED. But that was my major exertion. And I didn't put on makeup, I wore a hat so I didn't have to do my hair, and I wore the sweats I slept in. I am the epitome of classy. I got up, we went to the movie, we came straight back home and I climbed right back into bed. What a complete sloth I am. That is probably very insulting to sloths. I apologize.

So today I had a bowl of sugar free oatmeal for breakfast (the kind that comes in packets.) I had about 12 oz of pineapple for a mid day snack. And I just had a big salad of spring mix lettuces, avocado, grape tomatoes, fresh lime juice and a few tablespoons of spicy chipotle hummus which I love. I could eat the whole thing of hummus with a spoon. That is freakin' good stuff. I also had fiber one type granola bar. So I have 107 calories left for the day. It's 3 pm. I am hungry.

I HAVE to go home and workout. Even if it's just 30 minutes of going through the motions on the elliptical. It's more about the discipline of doing something I say I'll do than the actual workout at this point. I wish I knew what was wrong with me (ah, where would we start??!!)

So new year new me thing is off to a horrendous start. I need to turn this around. I can't lose another year. I'm running out of them!

This is the year I do it

2012-01-02T20:16:00.000-08:00

Welcome 2012!

This is the year I win the battle. I am getting my act together. Finally. I am ready. I've spent the last two years really struggling and losing all the ground I had gained. But I am ready for action!!

January 1st I weighed in at 226.0
This morning I weighed in at 222.8. I think I'm off to a great start!!

I am varying up the raw vegan diet I did before, like 75% raw vegan. I had sushi today for lunch, but the spicy tuna spring roll kind, so no rice. I will indulge in that at least once a week. I also had roasted red pepper hummus yesterday (I dip carrots and celery into it) and I'll be eating a lot of that with veggies as a snack. I'll also be getting protein from greek style yogurt. I have mixed feelings about dairy, so I'm compromising with myself by having the greek style yogurt. Weird? I'm ok with that.

Big bowl of fruit in the morning. This is really just the optimal way to start the day. I'm working on cutting back/down on the Diet Coke. Ideally I'll just having it once a week at the movies. But I'm weaning off it because of the headaches and migraines. I can't go just cold turkey.

I need to get back on the elliptical. I am promising myself that tomorrow I am doing it. No matter what. Even if it's just a slow 20 minutes going through the motions. I need to get back in the habit of working out in the morning.

I broke out the bodybugg and will be wearing it every day for accountability. I'm going full board here and I need to make sure I have enough calories going in and burning off.

I found out that Netflix has Biggest Loser seasons 1-12 on instant queue! So now I can watch that during all my workouts, which I'm totally psyched about!

Here are my admittedly somewhat unrealistic goals:

Get under 200 by February 1st.
Get down into the 180s by our Disneyland trip on February 20th
Get down into the 160s by Las Vegas trip on April 6th
Get down into the 140s by Memorial Day
Hit goal weight 125 by August 21, when I go visit my bro for his 40th b-day.

I'm going to work really really hard and do my best. I do think that hitting 125 by August 21st is doable. That's 101 pounds in 8 and a half months.
I can totally do that!!

Monday, September 19, 2011

2011-09-19T13:12:00.000-07:00

AM Workout

nothing - I was not feeling it and I bailed. This does not bode well. However, I have made the decision that I am cutting myself some slack here and declaring Monday mornings as a rest morning. If this re-occurs tomorrow, than I have a real problem.

Breakfast

1 packet lower sugar oatmeal: 120 calories

1/2 scope whey protein powder: 60

About an hour later I was still really hungry

1 packet lower sugar oatmeal: 120 calories

AM Snack (yep, about an hour later)

Yoplait light blueberry patch yogurt: 100 calories

Lunch

McDonald's Southwest grilled chicken salad: 320 calories

(I used half of the dressing packet)

PM Snack

Jello fat-free sugar-free pudding cup: 60 calories
BBQ soy chips: 100 calories

Dinner

small apple: 81

PM Workout

Equipment: elliptical
Time: 30.08 minutes
Resistance: 1
Distance: 1009
Calories burned: 210.9

Daily totals
961 calories consumed
1939 calories burned

Today I feel really tired and sluggish. Just like no energy. I'm having some allergy issues and I took a shot of Nyquil last night. I'm thinking it's probably a combo of those two things. Plus I haven't slept well the last few nights and I think that's catching up with me too. I'm doing the PM workout, but I think I'm just going to crash super early tonite and see if I can get caught up on my sleep. Tomorrow is Sean's 10th birthday. I feel like a horrible mother because I don't want to do anything for it. :( I'm throwing him a big party on Saturday with his friends and there will be lots of cake and food and swimming. And I'm just wanting to do minimum tomorrow and that sucks because I remember how special birthdays are, especially at his age. So I need to just get my shit together and be AWESOME MOM. Birthday waffles for breakfast and I'll pick up an extra bomb bakery cake for tomorrow night. I'm baking him a big elaborate one for the party, so I don't feel too bad short-cutting on this one. Dinner... if I could afford it, we'd just go out. I'll see what he wants. Probably too much to hope that he just wants frozen pot pies or cold cereal!

Week 1 Wrap Up

2011-09-18T08:10:00.000-07:00

Pounds Lost This Week: 5.2
Pounds Lost Total: 5.2
Pounds to Goal Weight: 94.8

AM Workout

Equipment: elliptical
Time: 30.02 minutes
Resistance: 1
Distance: 1134
Calories burned: 227.1

Breakfast
1 packet Safeway Select lower sugar oatmeal: 120 calories
1/2 scope EAS whey vanilla protein powder: 60 calories

AM Snack
Yoplait Light key lime pie yogurt: 100 calories

Lunch
Subway 6" Veggie Delite on wheat bread, no cheese, mayo or sauces: 230 calories

PM Snack
Jello Fat-free Sugar-free pudding cup: 60 calories

Dinner
Subway 6" Veggie Delite (other half of footlong): 230 calories
small granny smith apple: 81

After Dinner Snack
Banana: 109 calories

Daily Total: 990 calories

Mid-day Workout
Equipment: feet
Time: 18 minutes
Distance: 1 mile
Calories burned: 147

PM Workout

Equipment: treadmill
Time: 30.02 minutes
Speed: 2.0 mph
Incline: 2.0
Distance: 1 mile
Calories burned: 92.7

So here's the deal: I am determined to get this weight off. Goal: Lose 100 lbs by my 42nd birthday. That is in approximately 30 weeks from when I started. That is 3 pounds and a smidge per week. That's a little higher than the 1-2 lbs per week recommended by whoever it is that makes those kinds of recommendations. But screw them, I'm going for it. Dear Lord, I would love to be at goal weight by 42. So I'm giving it everything I've got for the next 7 months. Focus is what usually kills me. I get distracted (squirrel) and completely lose sight of my goals. If I can make it through the impending Holiday Season than I'm totally golden. I'd love nothing more than to have my ass back in to a single digit size pair of jeans by Christmas. Santa, that is ALL I want. Well, and Brendan Fraser. But that's a given.

Tomorrow I start wearing my BodyBugg daily (it's a-chargin' today.) I own and adore my Sketcher's Shape-ups, but I can only wear them every other day at most. My knees have issues if I wear them more often (and God knows I do not need my knees having issues.) Once my BodyBugg is back into play, I'll be posting/tracking my calories in/out and how I'm doing in deficitland. Which is the key to any and all weightloss.

Here's goes everything!!

Square One - #325,345,904

2011-09-06T06:07:00.000-07:00

Time: 30 minutes
Distance: 0.84 miles
Speed: 1.7 mph
Incline: 2
Equipment: treadmill

Sooooooo.... here we meet again. What's happened since my last post? Not much! Certainly no treadmill walkin' or healthy eatin'. I regained the 6.2 lbs I lost. I am literally to the ounce right back where I started. Again. I guess I should be grateful that I didn't go higher considering yesterday consisted of nachos, s'mores and circus animal cookie ice cream!

The problem with eating mostly fruits and salads is this: it requires organization, planning and execution. I'm GREAT with planning. I can be hyper-organized. And have no follow-through capabilities whatsoever. Which means I have a fridge full of wilting veggies. Fortunately, the fruit hasn't rotted as Skye has eaten it all. She does love her fruit, thank GOODNESS!! Meanwhile, I'm back to driving through Jack in the Box twice a day. I hate even writing that. Ugh! I do usually get a breakfast Jack for... well, breakfast and that's 280 calories. Which is how I justify that, sort of. For lunch I get their Southwest Chicken Salad with grilled chicken. Even with all the dressing it's like 600, which isn't horrible. And since it's a salad, I've convinced myself that it's all healthy and totally awesome. Which it's not. But I guess it's better than a Jumbo Jack. At least it doesn't leave me feeling all greasy. And I don't get it with fries (which I totally would with a burger, so there's something.) Is this what we call baby steps? Probably not.

I'm going back to what worked years ago, when I first lost weight three years ago. It consists of pre-packaged, pre-portioned meals and snacks for the most part. But it worked, it's still healthier than fast-food and did I mention it worked?

Here's the "meal plan"

Upon waking/pre-workout: 90 calorie granola bar
Breakfast: 1 packet/bowl of sugar-free oatmeal (Quaker makes some great ones)
Morning snack: Yoplait light yogurt
Lunch: Lean Cuisine panini
Afternoon snack: fat-free sugar-free 60 calorie pudding
Dinner: frozen prepackaged dinner around 300 calories
Evening snack (optional): Skinny Cow ice cream treat

This has my daily calories in the 1000 - 1200 range. I worked with a nutritionist a few years ago (it was part of a radio show weight loss contest, I came in second!) and this is what she worked up for me, well the breakfast oatmeal had protein powder in it now that I think about it, so I need to add that back up in there as well. I just need to keep my body moving. When did I get so lazy??

Two for two!

2011-08-24T18:48:00.000-07:00

Time: 45 minutes
Distance: 1.85 miles
Speed: 2.5 mph
Incline: 2
Equipment: treadmill

Today was the kids' first day of school, so I rescheduled my morning workout to my afternoon workout. And I totally worked it out! Yay!

Tomorrow morning, though, it's back to my "regularly scheduled workouting".

The plan is this:

Sunday - Thursday -- 45 minutes on treadmill
Friday -- rest
Saturday -- physical activity with kids

I know that I need to add some strength training in there. For now, I'm just going to use 2 lb handweights while I'm walking. That's about all the strength I can muster right now.

On the food front:

Fruit and veggies, baby! I had a big bowl of berries for breakfast. After school, I took the little kids to Chevy's for a first day of school debriefing and a late lunch/early dinner. I had a Santa Fe Chopped Salad (and a margarita - hey, it's $3 Margarita Wednesday!)

I'm all set for fruit and salad tomorrow!

This is what happens when you haven't run in over 18 months

2011-08-23T07:16:00.001-07:00

Time: 45 minutes
Distance: 1.46 miles
Speed: 2.0 mph
Incline: 2
Equipment: treadmill

That is embarrassing. What would be more embarrassing? Continuing my slothful slide into semi-consciousness (ah how I love alliteration!)

There was a lot of self-peptalking going on this morning. I had a full night sleep, but staying snuggled up in bed has turned into one of my favorite things. The hardest part of my workout: getting out of bed. I wonder if that will ever change.

Sitting here now, just before I hit the shower, I feel great. Energized. Alive. Powerful. Motivated. And I'll continue feeling that way until the alarm goes off tomorrow. It's going to take a while for this to become a habit.

I just need to keep repeating "journey of a thousand steps, baby!"

Can it really have been over a year?

2011-08-21T20:37:00.001-07:00

I can't believe it's been over a year since my last post! Boy have I wandered off course!

And so it's time for me to find my way back.

The past year has been rough. I've gone through a lot of depression and mental health treatment since the stress fractures. Which means a lot of medication. A LOT of medication. It served it's purpose. I got through a really dark period. I spent the last month weaning off everything and I'm officially meds free. I do still take an occasional Advil, but that is IT. It feels good. I won't go into all the nitty gritty details of every thing, but I feel awake for the first time in a long time. I was ready and it was time. Now it's time to get the rest of me back.

So I'm back here, running towards that healthy lifestyle. I've got the Diet Coke out (again!) and I'm working on upping my water intake. Lots of fruits and veggies (mostly raw, because that is actually how I prefer them.) I'm bringing smoothies, especially the greenies, back. And I'll be getting an extra kick of protein from greek yogurt (which I adore!) egg whites and fish... mmmmmm FISH!

I am fortunate in that I LOVE fruits, veggies, fish and "healthy stuff". I consider hummus a guilty pleasure, and I eat it with celery or carrot sticks for the most part. Sometimes I spoon it on my salad in place of dressing. And I live in an area of the country where eating like this is considered normal. So I can always easily find what I want and need, heck you can get sushi at 7-11 (not that I would recommend that! Trust me here!!)

I have started incorporating a small (3-4 oz) glass of white wine into my evening wind-down to help me relax. It's been working quite well. I sip it over a period of an hour or more when I'm curled up in bed watching a little reality tv and letting the stress of the day fall away.

I no longer have my elliptical (which was my mom's and she's "reclaimed it" - something about wanting to use it. Whatever!) But I do have my treadmill and a library of Jillian Michaels DVDs that even Netflix would envy.

Sometime in the near future I will be selecting a Marathon to train for next year. I plan on doing a half-mary around my birthday (April). I have got to get my weight down and my ass back in shape before I can even begin the running process. I have a long way to go and I could easily be overwhelmed by it. But instead, I'll go back to the quote that started this whole blog and journey Almost Exactly Three Years Ago (September 7, 2009.)

"The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." Lao-tzu

OK, fine, WHATEVER!

2010-06-22T20:23:00.000-07:00

So I realized that I've been rationalizing my laziness.

I probably spend as much, if not more, on the junk food crap than I do on the healthy fruits and veggies.

I eat a lot more crap. Sure, I can get a burger for a dollar at Jack in the Box, but do I eat just one burger? No, I eat a couple cause those dollar burgers are super small. And then I justify getting some fries and Diet Coke. Guess what? That meal did not just cost a dollar! It cost at least $5.

I started out with having a muffin for breakfast. Cause I could get a pack of 4 for $1.99. So that's 50 cents each. I was spending about $5 on fruit, especially if I was getting berries. Well, do you think I would eat just one muffin? Nope I'd end up eating a second one within an hour. And then after that I'd still be hungry. Cause simple carbs are wholey unsatisfying and lead to cravings and hunger pangs. Simple carbs are of the devil!! Well, after eating so many muffins, I decided I needed a more satisfying breakfast. Enter Jack in the Box and their Denver Breakfast Bowl. Scrambled eggs, ham, cheese, some kind of white cheesy sauce all over a bunch of hash browns. My arteries clogged up just a bit more by writing that! Of course, I got the combo - which meant a side of... more hashbrowns! And a large Diet Coke.

In less than a month I went from eating a big bowl of fresh fruit for breakfast, to a fast food bowl of fat and cholesterol topped off with 64 ounces of Diet Coke.

W. T. F?!

Oh, and BTW - that combo breakfast bowl with Diet Coke... yeah, that comes to just under $6! Saving money who?

What a load of crap. Who am I trying to fool? I'm not saving any money. If anything I'm spending MORE! AND I feel like crap, I'm gaining weight, I don't feel like exercising any more... major downward spiral!

So today, I bought some fruit in season: nectarines, plums and red raspberries (all on sale! YAY!) and I picked up the fixin's for my favorite salad: romaine, lime, avocado, tomato, red onion and sweet white corn.

Breakfast was two nectarines, a plum and 6 oz of red raspberries.

Snack: yoplait fat free yogurt (I had some in the fridge from an attempt at healthy eating 2 weeks ago)

Moment of weakness: small bag of white cheddar Cheez-its

Lunch: the aforementioned awesome salad

Frustration and anger snack: small oreo cookie shake and onion rings from Jack in the Box (hey, I'm workin' on it!)

When I got home from work: Jalapeno and cheddar tortilla chips with medium hot salsa

Ok, so it wasn't exactly a perfect on-plan day. BUT there was some major improvement. And I bought enough fruits and veggies today that I'm all set for tomorrow. I'm hoping to eventually be back to just fruits and veggies. I may have the occasional slip or indulgence. But I'll keep moving forward.

Tomorrow morning will see some intentional exercise. Even if it's just 20 minutes. But I will do something!

Anyone get the number of that wagon?

2010-06-21T16:23:00.001-07:00

The one I fell off of... and then was run over by.

Oh dear.

Weight: regained

Size 8s: back in the closet

Self-esteem: took a big hit!

Ah well.

I had to give up the raw veganism for now. My food budget just couldn't handle the cost of all that fresh produce. Someday I will have my own garden. Or I will die from eating so much processed chemical laden poison.

So it seems that my brain decided if I can't eat raw fruits and veggies, then I should eat pure crap. And that's pretty much been my "diet" ever since. I think my wiring short circuited a few years ago and some crap-ass unlicensed electrician got in there and permanently rewired things NOT UP TO CODE!!

That is to say: I have issues.

I am fully aware of this.

That is the first step.

Unfortunately, the next step is usually inside a Jack in the Box.

Oh, and how is the exercise going , you ask?

Damn nosey, internet! How do you THINK the exercise is going?

If you answered "not at all" you would be correct. And I would karate chop you in the throat.

Judgemental bitch! Back off!

Someday I will get my shit together.

And that will be the first sign of the apocalypse.

Yippee-kiyay Mother { censored in case my mother ever reads this! }

I have no idea what day it is!

2010-06-01T19:18:00.000-07:00

The weekend has been a blur of hot dogs, chips, ice cream and Eggo waffles. Oh, and no exercise.

Awesome!

Today I was totally committed to getting back on track.

And then I ate a whole box of cheese crackers from the dollar store. And they tasted exactly like cheese crackers from the dollar store. BLECK. Yet, I still ate the whole box. Because that's the level of commitment I bring to the table.

And then there were Mike n' Ikes from the candy machine at work. Oh yeah, we have one.

For my grande finale, I drove through Jack in the Box for the 3 for $3 - jr. bacon cheeseburger, onion rings and mini-churros.

I will probably go to bed in a little while and die.

Let's not even talk about the weight here. I'm totally taking a bye-week!

I have to wear a bathing suit this coming Sunday. If I'm not careful, it's not going to fit anymore. And remember, it's made of super stretchy spandex. And it might not fit. Oh. Dear!!

I wore my size 8 jeans on Sunday. Perfect fit, no muffin top. I can not say that today. :(

Tomorrow I will resume. Fruit, salads and exercise. Period. I owe it to myself. And my jeans!

Day 20

2010-05-29T23:01:00.000-07:00

And then there were cookies. Damn those Keebler elves!! Fudge striped short-bread to be exact. Guess what happens when someone who's lived a raw vegan lifestyle for nearly three weeks AND is allergic to gluten eats real cookies? If you guessed "get's stomach pains and other unpleasant digestive issues" you may pass go and collect $200!! I won't be doing THAT again. UGH. (Oh, but they were tasty tasty cookies. Those elves really know what they're doing!)

Other than the wickedly delicious cookies, the day broke down as follows:

Breakfast: banana and strawberries

Mid-morning snack: celery and hummus

Lunch: salad of spinach, avocado, lime juice and red onions. Hey, it's what I had!

Mid-afternoon: cookies. Yeah, about 6 or so. I know I know!

Dinner: seriously regretting the cookies. Dinner was so not happening!

As for the stats, I didn't even bother plugging it all in since it's all screwy anyway. Whatever.

Exercise didn't happen today. I wasn't feelin' it this morning and felt like sleeping in. I didn't get Sunshine therapy in cause of a staffing shortage at work. But it's bright and sunny out these days and I plan on getting a weeks work on Monday. If the temps hold, I'm taking the kids swimming at my parents' house!

Tomorrow will be back on track unless my stomach issues continue. In which case, I just may take is super easy and eat a couple of bananas. We'll see. Happy Memorial Weekend, y'all!

Days 17, 18 & 19

2010-05-28T20:20:00.000-07:00

Uh - oops!! Things have been a little busy and a lot crazy. I've been later to bed than usual and posting has just been off my radar. I've been on plan, so I'm just going to give stats for today but basically they can apply to the last three.

Today's stats cubed:

Breakfast: two bananas

Mid-morning snack: celery and hummus (ah yes, the hummus is back!)

Lunch: mixed greens, red onion, walnuts, dried cranberries, crumbled bleu cheese and raspberry viniagrette... ok so this was a little off plan with the cheese and the viniagrette. Today was the only day I did this. The other days were my "usual" salad with the avocados and lime juice.

Ok, so lunch was late and it's past dinner time and I'm just not hungry. My calories are low today. Oh well.

Oh, and I saw Sex and the City 2 last night (it was AWESOME! So much fun! If you loved the series and the first movie, the second one is right up there!) and I brought a bag of dried apricots. They were packaged, I didn't make them myself, so there were some preservatives in there. But still a helluva lot better than anything the sell at the concession stand!

According to The Daily Plate, my nutritional stats are:

Calories: 915
Carbs: 56.25%
Fat: 33.75%
Protein: 10%

Yeah, the fat's a little high. Between the hummus, walnuts, cheese and viniagrette, it was gonna be. Funny thing is those are all the things the brought up the protein too! So, whatever!

Exercise stats:

Elliptical: 45 minutes a.m.
Calories burned: 457
Sunshine therapy: I wasn't able to get away from the office today. But tomorrow - for SURE!!

Ok, so today's big news: I BOUGHT A FREAKIN' SWIM SUIT!! This is a monumental day. I plan on wearing it WITHOUT a giant t-shirt over it. I know, right! CRAZY!!

I have to work all weekend, but Monday the store is CLOSED! And if the weather holds up as I so hope it does, the kids and I will be spending it at my parents' pool!

I just had the craziest conversation with my teenagers. Kids are nuts! I love 'em!!

Day 16

2010-05-25T19:45:00.000-07:00

Today was just sort of a blah day. I woke up feeling blah. The weather was blah. Everything just feels grey and out of sorts. A big, fat BLAH.

Today's stats:

Breakfast: cherries

Mid-morning snack: cashews

Lunch: a veggie heavy lettuce mix, avocado, lime juice, red onions and a roma tomato

Mid-afternoon snack: banana

Dinner: banana

According to The Daily Plate, my nutritional stats are:

Calories: 991
Carbs: 55.88%
Fat: 36.4%
Protein: 7.72%

The cashews were eaten in a fit of anger and frustration at work today. Totally non-food related, and yet that's where I automatically go. I need to figure out how to let out that steam when I'm chained to a desk and don't have the luxury of walking it out.

Good news is: the cashews are GONE! Please let no one ever bring in another can ever again!

Exercise stats:

Elliptical: 45 minutes p.m.
Sunshine therapy: there was no sunshine to be had on this dreary dreary day
Calories burned: 517

I believe tomorrow is supposed to be more clouds, grey and rain. Blah.

Day 15

2010-05-24T20:17:00.000-07:00

Starting weight: 168.4
Last week's weight: 163.6
Today's weight: 159.6
Loss total: 8.8 lbs (in two weeks - that is AWESOME!!)

Well, I am convinced! The weight continues to come off. I very much enjoy what and how I eat. The raw vegan lifestyle is just a perfect fit for me. And my body is obviously loving it too. The best part - no cravings for chocolate, chips, ice cream or Diet Coke. None whatsoever. I've been able to resist my beloved Junior Mints with little effort. That doesn't mean that I'll never have them again. But not for a while, not until this has become a full-fledged lifestyle. And probably not til I'm just about at goal weight (115 for those wondering.) Now before anyone goes all 115, that's crazy! Keep in mind that I am a very tiny person. I just barely clear 5'2". And I have that tiny, petite, bird-like bone-structure. I weighed in the 105-110 range all thru high school and no one ever accused me of being too thin or under-weight. Not once. 115 is right in the middle of my "healthy weight range" and so it's a good number to aim for.

Today's food plan was a bit off due to what ended up being a 4+ hour round trip to the airport, right smack in the middle of the day. I ended up eating lunch at dinner time. And the grape tomatoes I bought for my salad ended up being eaten discreetly at the front desk as a late snack. And yes, there were cashews! But not as many. And the good news is that damn can is almost empty!

Today's stats:

Breakfast: cantaloupe & blackberries

Mid-morning snack: banana

Lunch: two more bananas

Mid-afternoon snack: grape tomatoes

Dinner: salad of lettuce, spinach, red onions, white corn, avocado & lime juice.

According to The Daily Plate, my nutritional stats are:

Calories: 1011
Carbs: 71.92%
Fat: 19.18%
Protein: 8.9%

Fat percentage is still twice what it should be but less than half of yesterday's so I'll take it! Damn those tasty cashews!!

Exercise stats:

Elliptical: 45 minutes a.m. & p.m.
Sunshine therapy: not enough sun to even warrant an open sunroof on my drive into SF!
Squats: 25
Lunges: 20
Crunches: 25

All in all, an awesome Monday! I feel good, strong, and lean... well, leaner anyway. Definitely heading in the right direction. And in less than 10 lbs, I can start running again! Woo Hoo!!

Days 13 & 14

2010-05-23T19:24:00.000-07:00

Ok, confession time. I started a new medication on Friday and it's wiped out my appetite. So, due to a series of events yesterday, I didn't eat. At all. I wasn't hungry in the least and the idea of food was just BLEH. I didn't workout either. My energy is a bit low and I wasn't feelin' it. However, I realized that it's not cool to not eat. So I made sure I did today. Other than an abuse of cashews (damn, they're tasty and addictive!) everything was back on schedule. I didn't have a green smoothie cause I didn't have the right fruits at home, so I just ate a bowl of fruit for breakfast once I got to work. Tomorrow will be odd because I have to take my oldest to the airport at lunchtime and since it's in SF, we have to leave at like 10:30 and I won't be back until probably around 2. So it'll be a way late lunch. But I'll make sure I get it in. I promise!!

And, without further adieu, here are today's stats:

Breakfast: blackberries and cherries

Mid-morning snack: handful of cashews (no, they weren't raw.)

Lunch: salad of mixed greens, spinach, avocado, lime juice, red onions and white corn cut off the cob. Needed tomatoes, but I was out. I'll pick some up for tomorrow's salad.

Mid-afternoon snack: more cashews. Man, that is a big can! I'll be glad when it's gone so I won't be tempted to steal them anymore. Cause you know, they're not even mine! LOL!!

According to The Daily Plate, my nutritional stats are:

Calories: 986
Carbs: 48.19%
Fat: 42.54%
Protein: 9.72%

Yeah, yeah, yeah - the fat is insane! OK, fine. I'm officially swearing off the cashews once and for all.

Exercise stats:

Elliptical: 45 minutes p.m.
Sunshine therapy: ran errands for an hour or so today, that was my "out in the sunshine" time
Calories burned: 520

Tomorrow I'm committed to both a.m & p.m. workouts. Sunshine Therapy will have to be in the form of driving across the Golden Gate Bridge with the sun roof open! And tomorrow morning will start with a green smoothie. I still have a couple of mangoes to use before they go bad. And a bunch of dandelion greens waiting for a try. Mmm...! And tomorrow is weigh-in day. Think light thoughts!!

Day 12

2010-05-21T21:59:00.000-07:00

I had an early morning doctor appointment and so the breakfast smoothie didn't happen. I waited until I got to work to have a bowl of fruit instead for a late breakfast/mid-morning snack. Totally worked. I wasn't at all starving by then either. Other than that, today was pretty by the book. Except for the couple of handfuls of cashews I had as an afternoon snack. And they're the same ones as the other day, so I knew they weren't raw. But they were CASHEWS! And they were DELICIOUS!! So whatever! Mmmm! I don't regret them one bit!

The days stats as follows:

Breakfast: blackberries and cherries

Lunch: big salad of various lettuce mix, spinach, red onion, roma tomato, white corn cut off the cob, 1/2 sm. avocado, juice of 1/2 lime.

Afternoon snack: 3 sm. handfuls of cashews (awesome!)

Movie snack: dried apple & pear slices

Yes, you read that right. I took a little ziplock bag of apple & pear slices that I dried in the dehydrator. How I love that thing!! Awesome snack!! No, not as good as Junior Mints. Nothing can ever replace those! But for now, the dried fruit is very satisfying. And I can live with that.

Also, movie: MacGruber. And yes, it was very funny in a gross-out spoofy way. It's probably not most people's cup o' tea. But Tad and I were rolling. Most 14 year old boys would think it's brilliant. There ya go.

According to The Daily Plate, my nutritional stats are:

Calories: 1233
Carbs: 53.23%
Fat: 38.14%
Protein: 8.62%

Ok, so that fat is "a little" high. I gotta lay off the cashews. Good news is, there aren't many left so that shouldn't be hard! Maybe they'll all be gone by Sunday, when I work again! I can only hope!!

Exercise stats:

Friday is usually my day off. However, since I didn't exercise at all on Wednesday due to under-the-weather-ish-ness, I went ahead and hit the elliptical this morning.

Elliptical: 45 minutes a.m.
Sunshine Therapy called on account of NO SUN. Boo!
Calories burned: 527

All in all, a pretty good day. Tomorrow I'm taking Sean and Skye to see Shrek. This will be my biggest challenge because they will be eating popcorn and Junior Mints. My kryptonite!

Day 11

2010-05-20T21:25:00.000-07:00

Today didn't go as planned. I ended up in an impromptu trip to visit my grandparents 1 and a half hours away. So I was totally unprepared. Which explains the following:

Breakfast: blueberry, raspberry, strawberry, banana & kale smoothie (not my fave)

Dinner: large salad of mix of lettuces, 1/2 sm. avocado, juice of 1 lime, sm. chopped yellow onion, white corn cut off the cob and a roma tomato. Seasoned with garlic powder, salt and pepper.

Notice the absence of snacks and lunch? Yeah, so did I!! But life happens, you deal and move on.

According to The Daily Plate, my nutritional stats are:

Calories: 658
Carbs: 78.3%
Fat: 13.18%
Protein: 8.52%

I know, calories were WAY low. I'm currently stuffed so I'm not going to try and cram anymore in. Today is done. I'll (probably) be on target tomorrow.

Exercise stats:

Elliptical: 45 minutes a.m. & p.m.
Sunshine Therapy: 18 minutes - 1 mile
Calories burned: 1177

I managed to get the Sunshine therapy session in just barely before things went topsy turvy. And yes, it was finally SUNNY AGAIN! Yay for sunshine in California!

I'm also happy to see that my Sunshine Therapy idea is really catching on with my friends! Much better than my depression and Junior Mints addiction!

Happy TGIF eve!

Day 10

2010-05-19T16:49:00.000-07:00

Today's lesson: unsalted nuts do not mean raw nuts!

I am sick...-ish. I think I'm coming down with what my kids have had. Definitely fever and chills today. Not bad, I just feel cold all the time. Ok, colder than usual (hmm... combine that with my almost translucent white skin and I'm definitely a Cullen cousin!) I had thought it was allergies up until today. Now I'm not so sure. Either way, while I don't feel full-on sick, I do feel (in the words of Annie Wilkes) "oogie". I'll probably live.

However, I didn't workout this morning. Sunshine therapy was called on account of rain. And I have no intentions of working out tonite. I have every intention of taking a nice, long hot bath and then crawling into bed and sleeping very soundly for oh-about 10 hours or so. We'll take tomorrow as it comes.

The Lean, Mean & Green for today (and no, I have no idea what the means either):

Breakfast: blackberry, mango, banana & spinach smoothie. Spinach was the only greens I had purchased. I'm going shopping tonite so I'll get some variety. Also, this was too much sweet-fruit. It needed something tart like strawberries or... ok I can't think of any other fruit right now. BLEH.

Lunch: smaller than usual salad of red butter lettuce, juice of 1/2 lime, tomato and 1/2 ear of corn. I was out of avocado and red onions. They were sorely missed!

Afternoon snack: 2 small handfuls of oops-they're-not-really-raw cashews (I didn't think to read the "ingredients" until after second handful!) and one handful of definitely raw cause I read the label FIRST walnuts. That, my friends, was 655 calories worth of nuts!!! That IS nuts!! That's more than all the other food I ate today. For three SMALL handfuls (and I have small hands AND I didn't like take huge fistfuls either!!)

Calories: 1182
Carbs: 46.45%
Fat: 45.86%
Protein: 7.69%

Oh - Em - Gee!!! That is insane! I think Twinkies have less fat and calories! I'm glad that I wasn't very hungry and they really didn't sit well or I could have easily eaten like 3 times that without even realizing!!

Ah well, I can officially say that nuts will not be a regular part of my diet. Yikes!

Exercise, as previously stated, has not and will not be happening. No stats. Nothing to report. Move along.

I am looking forward to feeling much better tomorrow. So let it be written. So shall it be done.

Day 9

2010-05-18T19:26:00.000-07:00

I am really enjoying the green smoothies!

Breakfast: strawberry, mango, banana & spinach smoothie

Lunch: salad of romaine, red onion, white corn off the cob, 1/2 avocado, juice of 1/2 lime and 2 tomatoes

Dinner: strawberry, blackberry, banana & spinach smoothie

Absence of snacks due to poor planning. I'll be bringing some dehydrated apple & pear slices and dried carrot chips tomorrow. Mmmmmm!

Calories: 1180
Carbs: 80.06%
Fat: 12.72%
Protein: 7.22%

Exercise stats:

Elliptical: 45 minutes p.m.
Sunshine therapy: it was cloudy and overcast but I managed an 18 minute mile in-between drizzles
Calories burned: 645

I wasn't feeling the workout this morning, so I opted to rest a bit and take a nice long hot shower instead. Good choice!

I've been advised by a friend who is all kinds of into green smoothies that I need to vary up my greens. Love to get tips and hints from those who have blazed the trail before me!! I'll get a bigger variety next shopping trip, on Thursday. Then get ready for all kinds of wild and crazy combos!

Day 8

2010-05-17T17:03:00.001-07:00

One week down, the rest of my life to go!

Starting weight: 168.4
Today's weight: 163.6
Lost so far: 4.8 (you have no idea how much I wanted that extra .2 to make it an even 5!!)

Despite practically ZERO sleep last night due to sick kids (coughs and one has an ear infection) I still managed to get up and exercise on time this morning. A quick hop in the shower and my timing turned out to be perfect as the power went out about 2 minutes after I got out! After a call to PG&E revealed that we'd be without until close to lunchtime, I got dressed (yes, I was still wrapped in a towel!) packed up all my hair and makeup stuff (which fits in a surprisingly small bag, about half the size of my purse. I'm a low-maintenance kinda girl) and headed on into work to fix myself up there. Thank goodness the whole city wasn't out, just half of it. Work was well electrified. I didn't scare any small children before I got my face put on!

Today's stats:

Breakfast: a bowl of blackberries and strawberries

Snack: 2 med. bananas

Lunch: salad of romaine, white corn cut off the cob, chopped tomato, 1/2 avocado, chopped red onion & juice of 1/2 lime.

Afternoon snack: 1 med. banana

Dinner: my very first green smoothie! Banana, blackberries & spinach - doesn't that just sound like the worst combo ever?! It was delicious!! In fact, I'm sipping it now as I type this.

Calories: 1078
Carbs: 81.83%
Fat: 11.85%
Protein: 6.32%

Exercise stats:

Elliptical: 45 minutes a.m. & p.m.
No Sunshine Therapy due to lack of sunshine and also lots of rain. Bummer!
Calories burned: 1062

I'm planning a strawberry, mango & spinach smoothie for breakfast. I have high hopes! The kids have been having smoothies (sans greens) all weekend. Starting this week, I'm going to start putting greens in them too. They've each tasted mine and LOVE it! Baby steps to a healthier family. And I'm leading the way.

Day 7

2010-05-16T19:02:00.000-07:00

I fully intended to get up and workout this morning, but when the alarm went off and I reached over to hit the snooze, my arm felt like spaghetti. Same with my legs, when I got up to use the loo. I knew that any attempts on the elliptical would be pathetic at best. Instead, I decided that my old bod would be better aided with some extra sleep. So I went back to bed and got another 2 hours. Ahhhh... If I hadn't had to get up for work, I might never have left it today!

The only difference between today's work day and a weekday work day is that we close an hour earlier. Which meant that I had some extra time when I got home to do an art project with Miss Monkeyface. She got a Memory Stone kit from my sister for her birthday, so we got the first one poured tonight. We'll be painting it all up purty-like tomorrow night.

As for today's stats:

Breakfast: fresh pineapple chunks and strawberries

Mid-morning snack: dried carrot chips

Lunch: typical big salad of romaine and red butter lettuce, 1/2 avocado, juice of 1/2 lime, shelled english snow peas, chopped red onion and white corn cut off the cob. Heaven in a bowl!

Mid-afternoon snack: I didn't have anything, poor planning

Dinner: 3 medium bananas

According to The Daily Plate, my nutritional stats are:

Calories: 1004
Carbs: 84.74%
Fat: 8.08%
Protein: 7.18%

Once again, percentages are pretty darn good. An afternoon snack would have put my calories up where they should be: 1200. I need to stay on the higher end, I've noticed on the days when my calories are really low the scale barely budges. But on the days my calories are higher, more weight loss. My brain still insists that doesn't compute. But I can't argue with the facts.

Exercise stats:

Elliptical: 45 minutes p.m.
Sunshine Therapy: 25 minute walk
Calories burned: 639

That will be my last session of Sunshine Therapy for a few days. We have a storm rolling in that's supposed to last most of the week. I could sure feel it coming today. There was sunshine, but a very cold breezy. I had to keep my hoodie on during the whole walk. Bummer.

Tomorrow is my first week weigh-in!

Day 6

2010-05-15T20:19:00.000-07:00

I spent the day at the Oakland Zoo with my sweet little 6 year old monkey. We had a GREAT time. With 5 kids, one-on-one time is super important and I make an extra effort to spend as much time with each of them as possible.

As for today's stats:

Breakfast: strawberries and a banana (eaten in the car)

I spent the day snacking on dried banana, apple & pear slices (I love my dehydrator!)

Dinner: I was starving when I got home, so I made a HUGE salad with a whole head of romaine, roma tomato, avocado, small yellow onion (it was what we had) and white corn cut off the cob. I ate most of it, but I'm so stuffed now, I can barely move. That may also be the effects of sheer physical exhaustion and the antihistamine I took a while ago. Hard to tell for sure.

According to The Daily Plate, my nutritional stats are:

Calories: 1004
Carbs: 78.74%
Fat: 14.95%
Protein: 6.31%

Ok, so the fat is a little high. That would be the whole avocado I put in the salad. I'm totally ok with that. It was DELISH and well worth it!

Exercise stats:

Elliptical: 45 minutes a.m. I was planning an evening work out, but I could barely move when I got home. It is so not happening. I'm ok with that too.

Sunshine Therapy: walking approximately a bazillion miles today. I got it covered!

Calories burned: 534 for the elliptical and totally indeterminate for the rest.

I have work tomorrow. Regular time. Regular schedule. Life is going quite well.

Day 5

2010-05-14T22:48:00.000-07:00

Hey, look at me posting on the same day I'm summing up!

However, it IS late, I'm SO tired, and I have a BIG day tomorrow (it involves my brand new 6 year old and a lot of wild animals!) There will be MUCH WALKING (or running to keep up with her!) Plus, I will be doing my 45 a.m. and p.m. workouts on the elliptical. 'Cause I'm that committed!

So without further adieu, Friday's stats:

Breakfast: same big bowl o' fruit with strawberries, cherries & pineapple chunks

I ate breakfast about an hour later than I usually do and for some reason it just didn't digest with a whole lot of speed. I have my suspicions about this (TOM showed up yesterday afternoon and it never fails to mess with my digestive system!) So I skipped my mid-morning snack cause adding veggies to partially digested fruit is never a good idea!

Lunch was eaten around 1:30 p.m. It took over 4 hours for things to feel ok enough that I dared! And I was right to wait and be cautious cause everything went just fine! Lunch was my usual big salad of romaine lettuce, chopped red onions, white corn cut off the cob, shelled english peas, 1/2 sm. avocado and juice of 1/2 a lime (I liked it with more, it needed the extra kick I've discovered!)

About an hour later I was still hungry, so I had the previously mid-morning snack of celery and hummus.

About an hour after that, I was still wanting something, so I had my planned 6 clementines. I was worried about eating something so acidic so soon after eating all those veggies, which take a while to digest. But no worries! I felt much better and satisfied after the clementines. And no sour stomach whatsoever. Go figure!!

Dinner: 3 medium banana
According to The Daily Plate, my nutritional stats are:

Calories: 1175
Carbs: 84.64%
Fat: 9.46%
Protein: 6.9%

Percentages aren't lookin' too shabby there! And everyone should be relieved to see my calories exactly where they should be! Thankyouverymuch!

Exercise stats:

Sunshine therapy: 24 minute brisk walk

Friday is my "rest" day so no elliptical workout. However, mental health never takes a holiday, hence the Sunshine Therapy.

If I could find my pedometer (that Sean loves to put on and run around the house and then always puts somewhere "safe" that I can never find) I would totally wear it tomorrow and track how many steps I log through the Oakland Zoo. But I can't, so I won't. Imagine thousands of miles. That should be a pretty close estimate.

Time to get those uber-important 8 hours of sleep!

Day 4

2010-05-14T06:38:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, my sweet little baby girl turned 6. Happy Birthday, Skye McKenna!!!

Which means my regular schedule was thrown off a bit. Which is fine and all, definitely worth it. But I didn't plan ahead as much as I should have and so I took a calorie hit. You'll see what I mean in a minute.

Thursday's Stats:

Breakfast: big bowl of pineapple chunks, strawberries and cherries

Mid-morning snack: celery and hummus

Lunch: big ol' salad of red butter lettuce, chopped red onion, shelled english peas, white corn cut off the cob, 1/2 sm. avocado and juice from 1/4 lime. This salad looks VERY green, which is fine and all. I need to get some tomatoes back in there. I love me some 'maters!!

Mid-afternoon snack: didn't happen as I was out picking up balloons and some last minute party supplies

Dinner: didn't happen as when I finally went to eat it at 9:30 pm, I discovered my daughter had dehydrated all the bananas. And I was too exhausted/tired/lazy to go to the store at this point. And I wasn't really hungry. I was just sleepy.

According to The Daily Plate, my nutritional stats are:

Calories: 692
Carbs: 78.16%
Fat: 12.64%
Protein: 9.2%

Uh... yeah. Calories are nearly HALF what they're supposed to be. Oops! Life happens. I'll make sure to do better today. And I'm heading to the grocery store in a bit to pick up a bunch more bananas!

Exercise stats:

Elliptical: 45 minutes a.m. & 45 minutes p.m.
Sunshine Therapy: 20 minute brisk walk
Calories burned: 1162

I may have missed my afternoon snack and dinner, but I still got that p.m. workout in. Unfortunately, it was after Skye's birthday party. Which put my on the elliptical at 8:30pm. I do not like to exercise after 8 cause it messes with my sleep. I should say usually or used to, cause I slept like a big ole log last night! No problem dropping off or staying that way. And I woke up at my usual 5 am this morning (ok, so the alarm goes off at 5 and then I hit the snooze every 9 minutes for the next half hour. But it's my morning routine and that's just how I roll.)

Today is my rest day. Except for the Sunshine Therapy. I'll still be doing that. Cause it's not just for my physical health.

Day 3

2010-05-13T05:51:00.001-07:00

I was supposed to post this last night, but someone (who shall remain nameless... and 14) decided to wait until 9pm the night before a major school project was due, to START IT! So I had to surrender my laptop for educational purposes. Dammit! Doesn't he know that updating my blog is so much more important! Oh, the sacrifices of motherhood never end.

So, yesterday went as follows:

I had more advance notice of how the day was going to go. I got my Sunshine Therapy in by going by myself about two hours earlier than usual. The afternoon snack wasn't interrupted by work, so no problem there. I had to go birthday girl shopping (my baby turns 6 on Thursday, which is now today. Happy Birthday, Skye McKenna!!) so I didn't get home until 7:15. I suited up and was on the elliptical by 7:45 which had me finishing up at 8:30. I don't usually like to exercise past 8 cause it messes with my sleep, but after ~~Tad~~ someone who shall remain nameless needed my laptop at 9, I took a hot bath and was asleep by 9:30, no problems!

Here are Wednesday's stats:

Breakfast: big bowl of pineapple chunks, strawberries and cherries (best EVER!!)

Mid-morning snack: celery and hummus

Lunch: Big salad of spring mix, white corn cut off the cob, 1/2 sm. avocado, juice of 1/4 lime and english peas, shelled (my score from the Farmer's Market!)

Mid-afternoon snack: 6 clementines (it took me 35 minutes to peel, de-pith and eat them!)

Dinner: 2 very large bananas... well, like 1 & 3/4 since I shared part of one with Sean who is sick and pitiful.

According to The Daily Plate, my nutritional stats are:

Calories: 1022
Carbs: 83.22%
Fat: 9.44%
Protein: 7.34%

Those percentages are dang near perfect!!! (the goal is 80/10/10) I got much smaller avocados and that cut the fat big time! Meanwhile, the peas had 4 grams of protein and 0 grams fat, so that gave me the balance I was missing. Those peas were a bigger score than I thought!!!

Exercise stats:

Elliptical: 45 minutes a.m. & 45 minutes p.m.
Sunshine Therapy: 20 minute brisk walk
Calories burned: 1171

It was so late, that when I collapsed off the elliptical last night I totally forgot about doing any crunches or squats. Also, my legs are SORE. I am really starting to feel all this exercise (which is a good thing!!) Fridays are my "rest" days (except for the Sunshine Therapy!) and so I'll get a small break there.

Basically, I am feeling really good. I've been reading a few raw vegan blogs and they all started out just trying this for a 30 day trial, not thinking it was something they could sustain long term. That was at least a couple of years ago and they ALL continued it because they either had really bad experiences when they tried to return to cooked food, or because they had such positive results that they preferred this eating lifestyle. They all said that once they got the hang of it, this way of eating is much easier than cooked food. And I completely agree!!

When my blender part gets here, I'm going to start with the green smoothies and I hope to get my kids, especially Sean, to start having them every day. Sean with all his food allergies, could totally use the extra health boost! I'd love to get him and Skye on a raw vegan diet. I think over a couple of years I easily could! Especially if I can get the older kids to quit bringing Doritos into the house!!!

Day 2

2010-05-11T20:26:00.001-07:00

Today started out great and then I got thrown a curve ball smack in the middle. I handled it, but it caused a small change. I had to miss my 25 minutes of Sunshine Therapy and I unavoidably had to skip my afternoon snack leaving my daily calories low. But you know, life happens. You deal with it and MOOOOOVE on!

Breakfast: a bowl of fresh pineapple chunks and strawberries. (I cut up the pineapple myself!)

Midmorning snack: 3 large celery stalks and 2 tbsp hummus

Lunch: huge salad of spring mix, red onion, white corn cut off the cob, 1/2 avocado, grape tomatoes and the juice of 1/4 lime.

Afternoon snack: supposed to be 6 clementines but instead NADA :(

Dinner: 2 bananas (Skye ate the third one! Damn kids!)

According to The Daily Plate, my stats are:

Calories: 810 (I told you it was low!)
Carbs: 75.96%
Fat: 18.2%
Protein: 5.84%

Fat is still a little high and protein is a little low. I'll work it out. I probably need to cut that avocado in half... darn. I do love me some avocado!

On to exercise stats

Elliptical: 45 minutes a.m. & 45 minutes p.m.
Crunches: 25
Arms: 5 minutes with my handy-dandy Shake Weight (I'm feeling the burn!)
Calories burned: 1084

I hit up the Farmer's Market in downtown on my way home tonite (it's every Tuesday from May to October) and got some organic red butter lettuce, romaine, english peas and a pound of cherries!! I'm really looking forward to a big bowl of pineapple, cherries and strawberries tomorrow morning for brekkie!! I can't imagine ever eating a bagel or donut for breakfast again. UGH. They would just sit like lead in my stomach for hours. Ok, this is going to sound super hokey, but eating fruit in the morning is like eating sunshine. Yeah, there I said it: LIKE EATING SUNSHINE!! Just try eating a bowl of pineapple without thinking of sunny beaches!

Well, I'm off to enjoy the last hour of Biggest Loser and get me some beauty sleep.

Day 1

2010-05-10T19:17:00.000-07:00

I'm only going to post my weight weekly. That could change, but that's how I'm starting.

My "official" starting weight: 168.4

Breakfast was 5 clementines. It was supposed to be six, but one had rolled behind the bowl and I didn't see it til I was cleaning up. So he joined his friends back in the bag until tomorrow.

Due to an appointment, I missed my mid-afternoon snack of 3 large celery stalks and 2 tbsp hummus (my only non-raw food.)

Lunch was a big salad: spring mix lunch, chopped red onion, grape tomatoes, 1/2 avocado, white corn cut off the cob, and the juice of 1/4 lime. Delish! This is my very favorite salad ever!!

However, I was still a little hungry. Probably since I'd missed the snack earlier. So I had the celery and hummus now. That was perfect.

A couple hours later I had a bowl of cut-up mango and strawberries. The sweet mangoes balance the slightly tart strawberries perfectly!

After my evening workout, I also had two small bananas.

I track everything on The Daily Plate. It is a wonderful FREE service!! You can upgrade to Gold and do a bunch of other stuff, but I've been perfectly satisfied with the freebie level.

According to them, my daily stats are as follows:

Calories: 1008 (I'm trying to keep it between 1000 and 1200)
Carbs: 79.49%
Fat: 14.7%
Protein: 5.81%

In looking over everything, it seems most of the fat came from the 1/2 avocado. The "ideal" I'm shooting for is 80/10/10 (carbs/fat/protein). I'll need to experiment around to find out how to up the protein and lower the fat. If I'd eaten more calories over all, my fat % would have been lower. I could just use 1/4 avocado but it is also providing some of the protein too.

Hey, I never said I'd get this perfect right outta the gate!

Exercise stats (and then I'll wrap this up for the night)

Elliptical: 45 minutes a.m. & 45 minutes p.m.
Squats: 25
Lunges: 10 (and those HURT!)
Crunches: 20

According to TDP, I burned 1092 calories on the elliptical. I entered my time, distance and heart rate (and it already knows my weight) so I'd hope that would help with some kind of accuracy. It's all I've got to go on.

I'm calling it a good first day! Now I'm off to my 8 hours of sleep. And then I get to do it all over again tomorrow.

Going Raw!

2010-05-10T14:27:00.000-07:00

Hello All! Long time, no checkie-innie.

Sorry 'bout that.

I've been on a major downhill slide since my dream came to a crashing... crash. The injury and therefore complete stop on all exercise led in to a very dark few months for me. I thought for sure I'd at least check in on my birthday, but no. I wasn't "up" to it yet. It's taken me a while to climb out of my emotional pit of despair.

I am happy to report that I am definitely seeing some light and happiness again. I'm not completely out, but I'm within reach of the rim.

I started half-heartedly exercising back in March. But it was pitiful, really. 45 minutes on the old elliptical maybe once or twice a week and then long stretches of NOTHING.

I gained a good 20 pounds... ok, closer to 30. I weighed more on my 40th birthday than I've weighed in like 2 years! Not exactly the goal I was shooting for!

It's going to take some time to undo all that damage and get back on track. Especially since my weight had been creeping up anyway and I blame it, at least in part, for my stress fractures. My bones couldn't take the pounding of all those... uh... POUNDS! Not for miles and miles and miles. So they started to crack. I know you see people weighing much more than I did (and do) running on the Biggest Loser. But this is not a reality show with a whole medical staff on the sidelines carefully monitoring each and every contestant under the supervision of an experienced trainer. This is little ole me, running my little heart (and legs) out. I do have medical insurance. That's about it. So, I'm going to make mistakes and push my body further than it can really go. Literally to the breaking point. I've got the whole mind over matter thing a little too in control!

Have I given up on running a marathon? NOPE!

Will I run one in Paris, France? Damn straight!

Will it be my first one? Most likely, no.

Will it be in 2011? Almost definitely, no.

I'm looking at 2012 for Paris. Why? Because my oldest daughter turns 21 just days before the race and I'm planning on taking her there to celebrate! I'm totally a two-birds-with-one-stone kinda girl. And besides, I totally get the Awesomest Mother Ever award for taking my daughter to Paris for her 21st! Hello! I gotta get my 'props' where I can!

There is a marathon in Big Sur May 1, 2011. I live just miles away from Big Sur!! Ok, 175 miles. But I mean still, totally in my neck of the woods!

And let's face it, I live in one of the psycho health-nuttiest places in the US! There are like marathons here every other weekend (no lie!) So really I could run one just about anytime.

However, I need to do a few things to prepare. And the first: LOSE SOME DAMN WEIGHT!!

I am currently (ugh!) 168 pounds. I need to be under 150 before I hit the road again or I risk re-injury. So I need to lose 18 pounds JUST to start training. And then I have to start FROM SCRATCH. Which means 9 months.

The second is get my quads and core STRONG or I risk knee injury... remember my double-jointed circus girl knees. Strong quad muscles keep those in check. So I'm hitting the elliptical hard. I've been meaning to (but so far have not) include squats, lunges and crunches in my morning and evening routine. Starting tonite I'm going to do just that!

So I'm back to recording everything here. Whether you like it or not!!

Diet-wise, I was a human garbage can during my "dark days". I've been gradually cleaning things up over the past month and starting today, I've gone 95% raw. This does not involve Eddie Murphy!

I've become a vegan raw foodist (think Demi Moore!) I only eat uncooked fruits, veggies, nuts and seeds... (and some hummus, which is cooked. Hence the 95% and not total 100%.) I realized about a week or two ago that I was already eating like 75% raw just by natural choice/desire. I was already eating a big bowl of fruit in the morning and a huge salad as a late lunch. My snacks consisted of fat-free yogurt and celery with hummus. So I've cut out the yogurt and switched up the snacks to include more fruit. It's actually very little change, more like a tweak.

Today is my first day at almost 100% and it feels just like a regular day. I had an appointment in the late morning and missed that snack anyway, so nothing is out of the ordinary. I'll be reporting daily my menu and how it's going as well, incase anyone else is considering raw foodism or wondering "just what in the hell do you eat, anyway?!"

The replacement part I need for my blender should be here next week, and I plan on including green smoothies to my diet at that time. I explain those in more detail later. Or you could google it if you're just dying to know!

So, kids, I am officially BAAAACCCKKK!!! (I'll be re-doing the header in the near future. But I'll miss my girl running from the Golden Gate to the Eiffel Tower. Man, that was sweet!)

Betrayal

2010-01-12T19:07:00.000-08:00

I just couldn't bear to post yesterday. I ended up in Urgent Care. Stress fractures. Both legs. Worst news possible. They sent me home with a vicodin prescription and referral for physical therapy. I'm looking at MONTHS of recovery. I can barely walk, the pain is searing and excruciating. It's getting worse instead of better. I'm trying to stay off my feet as much as possible, but let's face it. I'm on 'em a lot. It's just hazards of the job. And I'm prepping for our big tradeshow in a couple weeks. We ONLY do one a year, this is it. It's not optional.

Bummed. Understatement of the year!

BUT...

this is not the end of me. It's not the end of marathon training. It's not even the end of the Paris Marathon. Just the 2010 edition. It'll be equally awesome to run it the day before my 41st birthday!! And that will leave my actual birthday for much lushing about Gay Paree in victorious celebration!!

I might be down, but I am NOT out!! It's just going to take a bit longer to reach my goal. I'll continue to document my recovery and as I slowly resume training.

The ride ain't over yet - the fat lady isn't doing any encores tonite!

When Pain is the New Normal

2010-01-09T13:58:00.000-08:00

Today's 10 miler didn't happen. Instead, I'm laid up in bed googling "lower leg pain". Fingers crossed it's posterior shin splints and a few days of rest is all I need. Otherwise, I'm probably looking at a stress fracture. Six weeks to heal, minimum. Which would SUCK! And could totally tank Paris. And could seriously leave me on the brink of massive depression. I want this SO bad. Which is probably how I ended up with a possible stress fracture - over-running. DAMMIT!!!

So I'm NOT running. I'm resting. I'm staying off as much as possible. I'll do what I can to get this healed. But the pain is SEARING when I walk on it. It's a totally NOT GOOD pain.

I really just want to cry right now.

Be they anvils or rocket-skates?

2010-01-06T13:50:00.000-08:00

Distance: 4.29 miles
Time: 60 minutes 00 seconds
Average: 13 minutes 59 seconds
Marathon Time: 6 hours 06 minutes

Today is one of those days I just shoulda stayed in bed.

Pain, my old friend, is back. Suck.

I got a late start on today's 5 miler. Remembered about 3/4's of the way through that Sean and Skye were both getting Citizenship awards at school FIRST THING, and had to cut the run short. Which is why the length is weird and the time is exactly 60 minutes.

Oh, and coyotes are making the news around here. Awesome. Guess that's some motivation to pick up my speed! I'll have to practice my Meep Meeps and be on the lookout for any ACME delivery trucks.

Breakin' Barriers

2010-01-05T07:43:00.000-08:00

Distance: 3 miles
Time: 38 minutes 21 seconds
Average: 12 minutes 47 seconds
Marathon Time: 5 hours 35 minutes

I pushed it a bit today and now my average is within the 5 hour 40 minute marathon time limit. Now I just need to expand that into my long run average. I'll get there. I didn't kill myself today to get that time. Just focused more on my time. So yes, I'm a sweaty mess. But I always am!

Tomorrow is 5 miles and it'll be interesting to see if I can keep up that pace for the full run. I'm pretty convinced I can! No, I'm TOTALLY convinced I will!!

I have an appointment on Thursday to get my medical certificate signed for the marathon. It's a requirement. While I'm in, I'm going to request a thyroid check. I think I might be hypothyroid. My mom is, she was diagnosed in her 30s. It could explain a lot of the problems I've been having lately.

Gotta run. Well, not literally this time! I get to spend the morning at the DMV. Oh YAY!

It is ON, Frenchies!!

2010-01-02T11:37:00.000-08:00

Distance: 9 miles
Time: 2 hours 06 minutes 44 seconds
Average: 14 minutes 05 seconds
Marathon Time: 6 hours 09 minutes

This morning I ran 9 miles. In a row. On purpose. I'm like a Superhero, I know.

I had three 1/4 mile walking breaks that I actually had to make myself take. This was the furthest I've ever run. Ever. Prior, it was that 6.5 mile trail run of death. And we all know how THAT went!

I did not run on the hs track as previously anticipated. I decided that I needed the comfort and security of my regular routes. So I did my 5 mile route and then my 4 mile one. And that, my friends, was brilliant. It wasn't tedious or confusing or repetitious or... anything but familiar. And I needed that. I was just in my groove.

I will say that the weather was spectacular! It was overcast and foggy. The air was thick, wet and cool. PERFECT for a long run. It was like having my own personal mister the entire way. And during the last two miles, it almost started to drizzle giving me the extra cooling off that I needed.

I'll admit, I felt some tears during that last quarter mile sprint. When I fully realized not only what I'd done, but what I'm capable of doing.

This was my make or break. It was determining if I could really do this whole marathon thing or if it was some unrealistic pipe-dream I'd been clinging to for far too long.

I can do it! In fact, if I'd needed to keep going, I totally could have! I ended feeling strong and confident.

Last week, I found a half-marathon through Golden Gate Park in February. I wasn't sure about signing up for it until I ran today. Now I'm all over it!! And it's definitely NOT a trail run!!

I am going to be a marathoner!!!!! I'm really doing this!

Yesterday's Run Stats

2010-01-01T15:03:00.000-08:00

Distance: 3 miles
Time: 39 minutes 18 seconds
Average: 13 minutes 06 seconds
Marathon Time: 5 hours 43 minutes

This is a testiment to my commitment and determination. I spend Wednesday night at the ER with my grandparents. Grandpa fell and was taken by ambulence to the hospital. My mom, who normally handles these things, was out of town and so I stepped in to help out and be there for them. Grandpa is bruised and sore, but miraculously just fine. Nothing broken but his pride.

I was home and in bed by 11:30. Which isn't horribly late, just later than usual for me. And I was stressed and mentally exhausted cause let's face it, hospitals suck.

But I didn't even give it pause. I was up and running the next morning, maybe a little later than usual (in my exhausted stupor, I forgot to set the alarm!) Due to regularly getting up at the same time, my eyes literally popped open at 6:58!

The run itself went great. It felt like a nice, short run. Don't get me wrong, I was sweating profusely and definitely had exerted myself. But it didn't kill me. I wasn't struggling to make it through. And I felt good afterwards. I even did my typical sprint the last quarter mile.

Tomorrow is 9 miles. It's make or break. If I can't do this, then I don't see how I'll be ready by the marathon. But I am confident that I can. I plan on running 2 miles and then walking a 1/4 mile the whole way through. I think that should be a good recovery break.

I guess we'll see tomorrow!!

Laps of Judgement (not misspelled, it's a PUN!)

2009-12-30T10:32:00.000-08:00

Distance: 4 miles
Time: 53 minutes 15 seconds
Average: 13 minutes 19 seconds
Marathon Time: 5 hours 49 minutes

Today's run was so much easier than yesterday's. Both mentally and physically (and musically! Yay for remembering to charge my MP3!!) I didn't have an internal battle of wills and excuses. I just got up, suited up and ran out the door. Because it wasn't a choice. It's what I was doing today. Period.

The weather was a bit warmer, and I could feel it in my lungs. They weren't struggling to expand and contract as much. I felt loose and limber. I set a good pace and kept it, actually besting yesterday's average by a bit, even though I ran a mile further.

Tomorrow is back to 3 miles. Friday = rest day. Saturday is 9 miles. NINE MILES. In a row! I told the other manager that I'd quite possibly be in late to work on Saturday. Because I honestly have no idea how long it's going to take me to run NINE MILES!!

I AM determined to do the whole NINE FREAKING MILES! Even if I end up walking part (or most!) Up 'til now, I've mapped out a route the predetermined number of miles using MapMyRun.com, which is convenient, free and totally awesome!!

However, for an undertaking of this magnitude, I feel I need a more structured (aka OCD) system. So I will be running laps at the high school track. That way I'll know precisely when I hit the wall. If I need to walk, I will know if it's for exactly a quarter mile, half mile, etc... instead of guessing. And I can thoroughly and anally analyze the hell out of the whole thing. And that, my friends, makes me very very happy!

I also realize I need to buy a lap counter. Our high school track is a quarter mile. 4 X 9 = 36. I'll be running 36 laps. Without a lap counter, I'll lose count somewhere around number 4. There is no WAY I'll be able to accurately keep track of which lap I'm on for THIRTY-SIX of them!! I can barely keep track of my kids and I only have five of those!

If I can't find a lap counter by Saturday, or they prove to be more than my cheap-ass is willing to spend, I'll have to bring one of the kids to count for me. I'm thinking Cali, since Tad will turn up his iPod Touch and promptly fall asleep. Jason has to work, but he'd spend the whole time texting his friends and be all "uh, Mom, I lost count around lap 4". Sean and Skye, while both perfectly capable of counting to 36, would end up running around the track and probably trip me at some point. Also, they'd be all "Mom, I ran around 3 times! How many did you do?" Totally forgetting that they were supposed to be counting me! Can't depend on those elementary school kids, they're so self-absorbed!!

Anyway, that's the plan. Pray for everyone's sake that I can find a cheap lap counter at Target before the weekend!!

I didn't lose a step!

2009-12-29T10:17:00.000-08:00

Distance: 3.1 miles
Time: 40 minutes 58 seconds
Average: 13 minutes 32 seconds
Marathon Time: 5 hours 55 minutes

Forgive me, internet, for I have sinned. It's been 23 days since my last run...

And yet, my time is spot ON! Almost to the second per mile average of my last run. Not too shabby considering the past few weeks results are: Christmas Cookies=47 billion; Workouts=0.

But I've picked up my training schedule and am just jumping right back in. Which means a 4 mile run tomorrow. A 3 miler on Thursday. And then NINE MILES on Saturday. If you don't hear back from me, it's because I died... probably around the 7 mile mark.

I did have a break-through this month. As so while the training section has been lacking, the self-discover section has a giant-ass lightbulb over it!!

I am allergic to gluten, otherwise known as Celiac's disease. Which is why when I cut it out for a while I feel GREAT! And then when I start eating it again, I get sick. Really sick. And depressed. REALLY depressed. HA! I am brilliant (or incredibly stupid since I'm almost 40 it's taken me this long to figure it out. Nah, I'm going with BRILLIANT!!!)

So the whole, no white flour thing. Yeah, that's now permenant. Like in forever. And it expands to all wheat, rye, barley, oats (that aren't specified as gluten-free) and anything else that falls into the gluten category. Since I've had Sean on a gluten free diet for over two years now, I'm pretty much a total pro at this! And my house is already full of gluten free products. I'm about 12 steps ahead of the game. Excellent!!

As for today's run, it was a toughy. I actually ended up walking for a quarter mile twice. It was a cold, foggy, wet morning. Typical Bay Area winter weather. Still grateful I don't live in Minnesota (yeah, I'm talkin' to you, Elizabeth!!) or Utah for that matter (ooooh, shout out to Tressa!! HA!) I don't know how people cope in the frozen tundra! I don't even like to look at pictures of it for too long without a scarf and gloves!

Breathing was a bit of an issue. I guess my lungs weren't expanding as easily due to the cold. It felt like I had a big elastic band around my chest. Probably because I had a big elastic band around my chest! I had to wear two bras when I run to avoid black eyes (I know I can't defy gravity, but I can give it a big F*** YOU!)

Beyond that, the only real pain I experienced was when my MP3 player quit at the 4 minute mark!! Apparently, I had not charged it. I briefly thought about calling it right then and there. But I soldiered on.

Cause that's just how bad-ass I am!

Amputation and Waffles

2009-12-16T21:36:00.000-08:00

For over a week now, I've been in excruciating pain. I'm ok upon waking but within about 30 minutes of walking around, the pain in my calves/fibula (I had to google that) is so bad that an image of Cary Elwes in Saw flashes through my head as a reasonable option.

I'm not sure what I've done, since it didn't even begin to hurt until a couple days after I last ran. And increased exponentially daily. To the point where, up until today, I could hardly walk at all. I was making weird faces when I walked (weirder than usual) and stairs were almost impossible. Have I mentioned that I spend a good chunk of each day running up and down stairs at work?

However, miraculously, today the pain was significantly lessened. I don't know how or why. I don't care. I am hopeful that in a few more days, that horrible pain will be but a distant memory. Like childbirth only without the benefit of epidural. Ah, if only!

I've had a bit of an epiphany about the whole white flour/sugar and caffeine thing. I'm doing some research into it and formulating a plan, to begin January 1st. Until then, I'm enjoying the recent shipment of Eggos! The shortage is over! Hurrah!

Let's face it, trying to swear off cookies at Christmas is like trying to swear off sunshine in California. It's not impossible, just impractical!

Running is scheduled to resume next Tuesday, monsoons and subzero temperatures notwithstanding.

My Suckage Knows No Bounds

2009-12-10T06:18:00.000-08:00

Not running today. Because? I've lost that lovin' feelin'.

Do I have that seasonal depression thing? Possibly. Or possibly I'm just an incredibly lazy slothful bag of suck. Probably it's a combo of the two, heavy on the latter.

And the whole no white flour/sugar thing - yeah, pretty much that's what I've been living on the last three days. All washed down with lots of Coke Zero. Let's not even pretend this is going to change before the holidays are through. Especially since there is a lot of baking in my immediate future.

And Saturday... HUGE rain storm is hitting here today and supposed to last through Saturday, with the most rain falling then. Great. So not running on Saturday isn't going to be my fault. I blame Sam Champion!

Yeah, that's the ticket!

Wheel of Excuses

2009-12-08T07:34:00.000-08:00

I didn't run today. Let's just put that out there right now. I was planning on running when I went to bed last night, knowing that it would be in the low 20s with a hard frost this morning. I was prepared for that. I wasn't prepared for getting sick in the middle of the night. Ugh. Uncool. Puking trumps running, it's a personal rule.

So, I'm sick, right? Flu? Swine or otherwise? Eh, not so much. This is the embarrassing part - I got sick cause I basically ate too many Twinkies yesterday. Yeah, Twinkies. And a few Ho-hos. A small bag of Chex mix (cheddar, hmmm!) and several Coke Zeros. Nice no white flour/sugar ban I have going there, huh? I fell off the wagon. Actually, the wagon turned out to be a giant Twinkie and I ate it. I ate the wagon and it's creamy white center. And it was good. Dammit.

Why can't Twinkies taste like brussel sprouts. I like brussel sprouts. A lot. I love 'em actually. However, I don't go on brussel sprout binges. I don't dream about them, or look longingly at them in the grocery store. I don't compare my love of brussel sprouts to my love of Brendan Fraser. Why is that?

I've come back to my senses this morning. That and I feel like crap. I may not be able to look at another Twinkie for a while, oh at least an hour or so. It's fruit and fresh veggies and the land of salad again for me. I get up, brush the last of those golden cakey crumbs off, and move forward.

Twinkies happen.

The Opposite of Awesome

2009-12-06T09:57:00.000-08:00

Distance: 4 miles
Time: 54 minutes 11 seconds
Average: 13 minutes 33 seconds
Marathon Time: 5 hours 55 minutes

I made the 4 miles. Just barely. Not because of pain, or windedness. But because my calves were insanely tight this morning and just would not loosen up. Sometime during mile 2, my knees and right hip tightened too. And stayed that way through the rest of the run. I don't get it.

It wasn't any colder this morning than previous mornings. I actually went out almost an hour later than usual. It is a bit overcast here, but that just kept the sun from baking me into a melting pool of sweat (though, there was plenty of sweating, even with the wicking tshirt I wore.) In fact, I went sans gloves because I hate sweaty hands and my fingers weren't cold in the slightest.

I stretched my legs before I ever left the house, walked an extra block to warm up before I started running and intentionally took the first mile slow waiting for it all to stretch out. It didn't happen. WTF?

And now I'm hobbling around because my calf muscles are SO tight I can barely walk. Really? REALLY?!!! I even took a super hot shower post-workout and... nothing. Damn Damn Damn. Tomorrow is elliptical day and I'm going to do some extra extra stretching. Probably take a hot bath tonite too.

Being old sucks eggs.

You have GOT to be kidding me?!!!

2009-12-05T10:20:00.000-08:00

Distance: 3 miles
Time: 37 minutes 42 seconds
Average: 12 minutes 34 seconds
Marathon Time: 5 hours 29 minutes

I'm back into 12 minute miles (well, 12 and a half minute, but I'll take it!) Funny, cause I was sure today's time would be awful. It was the first time since I can't remember when that I felt like I needed to stop and catch my breath. Well, now I know why! I was running a lot faster!! Duh! I is smart.

It was COLD today and yet during that 3rd mile, I couldn't take it anymore and had to take off my gloves. I had sweat running out from under my hat (damn sexy, I know!) and I was about ready to take off my very thin hoodie. I was drenched by the time I got home and still so over-heated I had to start my shower on cold. Of course, I'm wearing several layers of clothes now, the thermostat says 68 and I'm literally shivering. So everything is back to normal!

Tomorrow is LOOOOONG run day... or in my case, a 4 miler. I haven't run more than 3 since... OMG I just had to go through my blog to find it. I haven't run more than 3 miles since that Tough as Granite 10K aka 6.5 miler back on September 20th. WTF? I haven't done a long run in almost THREE MONTHS?!!! I didn't just fall off the wagon, it backed up and ran over me a few times too! OH CRAP! How did I get so far off-track?!

Now I'm more determined than ever!!

The Mandatory Rest Day

2009-12-04T10:19:00.000-08:00

I was going to title this The Ubiquitous Rest Day, but then I looked up the definition of "ubiquitous"-- existing or being everywhere at the same time: constantly encountered : widespread -- and that didn't really make sense. Or did it? Is Friday everyone's Rest Day? Or Maybe that everyone should have a rest day, you find them everywhere. You know, widespread?

I'll stick to 5th grade vocab words.

Slept in an hour late. Awesome! Why do I fight the whole Rest Day concept? Oh yeah, it's because tomorrow I'll be all "I don't wanna get up, I wanna sleep in again!" and hit the snooze. And the rest, as we've seen, is my history! Determined NOT to let it get the better of me. I should disable my snooze button!! I am brilliant! Only, not so much with the electrical stuff. I'll probably electrocute myself or short circuit the alarm clock (or both!) Brilliant but inept. Sounds like my dating profile!

I should update on the whole white flour/sugar ban. It is going swimmingly! I have ingested zero of either. It's going on FIVE DAYS! I am a superhero, the woman of steel will power!! I need a cape, and maybe some of those gold bracelet things...

My daily meals consist of:

Post workout protein: 1 hardboiled egg (Bob and Jillian say it's important to have protein right after you workout. And I'm totally not crossing Jillian!!)
Breakfast: 1 hardboiled egg and 3 slices of extra-lean turkey bacon
Midmorning snack: fruit, usually several green apples. Yesterday I had a bunch of berries (hello major sale at Safeway!)
Lunch: big salad containing grilled chicken strips, romaine lettuce, black beans, garbanzo beans, chopped red onions, low carb zero calorie bbq sauce (Walden Farms) and fat free ranch dressing.
Afternoon snack: pseudo-quesadilla made with whole grain low carb tortillas, turkey deli slices and a slice of cheese
Dinner: 1 oven roasted acorn squash and a grilled chicken breast with horseradish mustard (don't knock it til you try it!!)

And that, my friends, is a very filling day of food! I'm never hungry. And I'm dropping pounds LIKE CRAZY!!

Now let's see what happens when I'm at Disneyland for two days next week!

Who'da Thunk It?

2009-12-03T09:29:00.000-08:00

Distance: 3 miles
Time: 40 minutes 01 seconds
Average: 13 minutes 20 seconds
Marathon Time: 5 hours 49 minutes

I did it, baby! I ran in the dark and cold an hour earlier than the previous three runs. And was glad I did! It didn't feel any colder with lack of sunlight. And since traffic was greatly reduced and I was able to run mostly in the street vs. sidewalk - it was nigh on enjoyable.

Except for the 2nd mile. Man, that is a killer!! I do not know why. The only thing I can figure is that the first mile is getting my stride, body feels strong and awake, I'm all pumped up on optomism, I breeze through it. The second mile is like what the hell? We aren't even half done yet? What was I thinking? I could totally be in bed right now and instead I'm running the streets in the cold and dark. I am totally crazy. This is what crazy looks like. I don't want to do this any more. Life sucks. And so on and such forth... not really a lot of motivating self-talk going on there. Then I hit what I believe to be mile three (though I could be off by up to an 1/8th of a mile. But shhhhhh! I won't tell me if you don't!) and I'm all HEY! I'm almost home! Woo Hoo! Well now, that wasn't so hard! Piece o' cake really! Mmmm.... caaaakkkkeeee.... and then before I know it, I can see that last stop sign, which I RACE to, and BOOM! I'm done!

So today's experiment in cold weather torture = epic success!!! A simple knit hat and gloves from Target (total like $2 and I have an extra pair of gloves to boot!) was all I needed to go from fall running gear to winter running gear. Boo YAH! (Also, I'm so glad that I don't live somewhere it actually gets cold!)

Next obstacle... the rain is due in this weekend. RAIN. Can I run in a wetsuit and flippers?

Hat Trick, Baby!!

2009-12-01T09:10:00.000-08:00

Distance: 3 miles
Time: 40 minutes 21 seconds
Average: 13 minutes 45 seconds
Marathon Time: 6 hours 00 minutes

Three scheduled running days in a row. I AM UNSTOPPABLE!!!

OMG - can I just say how HARD today's run was?!! Mentally, getting out the door was pretty tough. But physically, I was like pushing myself every step of the way just to keep going. And it wasn't because I was hurting or in pain, my knees were barely a twinge today; much worse on Sunday and Sunday's run was a breeze. No, I just felt like lead. Like my body just did not want to move.

It did not help that today was my coldest run. 34 degrees. I could see my breath. Freaking COLD!! I did wait til just after 7 to go, so the sun was up and that helps a lot. But still...

I hate running in the daylight. Does that sound weird? Have I watched too many Twilight movies? Am I worried my running will dazzle everyone?

I like running before the world wakes up, when there are hardly any cars on the road and it's QUIET. I am a fairly solitary person by nature (ha, irony of having 5 kids, I KNOW!) And running during the morning rush hour today was torture. I couldn't run in the bike lane, it didn't feel even remotely safe. I was stuck sharing the sidewalks with school kids and people waiting for the bus. It was CROWDED. Very uncool.

So I have come to the unhappy realization that I need to go back to running in the dark, early morning hours. When it is like ALASKA COLD outside!! Do they make jogging parkas?

I am (obviously) a cold weather wimp. Before moving back here a few years ago, I lived in the desert Southwest. Winter lasted for like 3 weeks and I complained bitterly every second of it!! I'll take 115 degree temps over below freezing any day of the week! Global warming - I'm looking forward to it! Can we speed things up please?!

Until then, I'm going to have to invest in some winter running warmth. I think a trip to Target for a hat and gloves is in order. I don't dare get a scarf, I'll end up in a tripped up tangled mess. Putting one foot in front of the other is hard enough, m'kay. Thanks!

Thursday morning I'll be hitting the frozen road at 6 am. Dear Lord, I've lost my mind completely!!

Deja Vu All Over Again

2009-11-29T09:02:00.000-08:00

Distance: 3 miles
Time: 42 minutes 03 seconds
Average: 14 minutes 01 seconds
Marathon Time: 6 hours 19 minutes

Two days in a ROW! Woot Woot!! And I even improved my time a notch, even though I was hurting a lot more today. Not horrible (except for the knees. Boy were they complaining LOUDLY!) But I powered through and finished. Ultimate sense of accomplishment. Even though I am super sore, I feel REALLY good right now. Like I can do this.

So, the schedule it back on. Tomorrow is cross-training. 45 on the elliptical followed by squats, leg raises, ab and arm work. I am focused and determined (yeah, I know I've said that a lot in the past. I still mean it!)

Ah, the diet thing. I'm a total carbaholic. And the bad carbs - white flour, white sugar. I COULD LIVE ON TWINKIES! Easily. Like desert island, you can only take two things (duh, Brendan Fraser and Twinkies. No brainer!) I've conquered the Diet Coke Zero thing, though I do still occasionally indulge, I no longer live on the stuff. Now I need to go 30 days with zero white flour/sugar.

Dear Lord, it's the holidays! How the hell am I going to do this?? (Especially since I already had two gluten free chocolate chip cookies, a mini bagel and a handful of bread chips this morning. Yikes! And it's not even 10 o'clock yet.)

Ok, starting tomorrow - white flour and sugar ban... Oh dear. What have I done!

Bow Down, Biotches!

2009-11-28T08:20:00.000-08:00

Distance: 3 miles
Time: 42 minutes 28 seconds
Average: 14 minutes 27 seconds
Marathon Time: 6 hours 38 minutes

Hey, at least I'm still coming in ahead of the 80 year old guy! Not bad for having not run in over a month. I'll take it!!

And so, yes! I did it!!! I'm baaaaaack!!

It did help that I waited until 7 and the sun was just coming up over the horizon. And it was 50 degrees with a light breeze. A perfect, balmy Northern California morning. And why I love living here.

I woke up this morning with one thing on my mind. Running. Today was it. If I didn't go now, I might as well just pack up the idea. I'm at the halfway point. The marathon is in 4 and a half months. If I don't get back on my training schedule TODAY, I won't be able to pull this off. And I will NOT begin my 40s by once again bailing on a major goal I've set for myself. NO I WILL NOT! The next decade of my life is going to be record breaking, and I'm going to start it off with a bang. Marathon on my 40th birthday in Paris - HELL YES!

As I began my run this morning, Queen's We Will Rock You playing on my mp3, fall leaves floating down, sun just beginning to shine through the trees and the smell of a wood fire wafting through the air, I thought THIS is why I love running. I felt awake, alive, and was able to live right in those moments. They were mine alone to appreciate, experience. I'm not one of those people who hates running but does it anyway. I don't just love how I feel afterwards. I love running in the moment. Even while my knees are creaking and my quads are burning (and my boobs are painfully bouncing. Note to self: get better sports bra!) Even while there is some minor discomfort, I love that my body can do this. I can run, move, use my body as it was intended (mostly!) I love the physicalness of it. And the endorphins! My God, the endorphins!!

And so, I'm back on the road. I'm Just Doing It!

Disappointment, I should be used to it by now!

2009-11-24T19:49:00.000-08:00

This would be disappointment in myself. I was bound and determined to run today. No matter what. I didn't have a migraine. I had the day off. The weather outside was gorgeous. Seriously, not a single excuse on the horizon. And yet...

Here it is 7:51 pm and did I run today? No. Why? I can't answer that. Well, yes I can if I want to be completely honest. Because - I didn't want to. And apparently, I am a 3 year old.

I am so disappointed in myself.

I really want to do this. This is a goal I've had for decades. Really, as long as I've known what a marathon was. I ran races in elementary school. I was on my highschool track team until a misdiagnosed knee injury ended my career. I was training for one exactly 10 years ago, until again knee problems that I didn't get checked out stopped me. Know I now what's going on with my knees. For the first time, they won't be the obstacle I have to overcome.

No, now the only thing standing in my way - is me. What am I afraid of? Actually accomplishing something? Succeeding? Failing? Well, if I never try than I can't fail, right? WRONG! Throwing in the towel is failing. Not striving to reach my goals and dreams = epic fail.

I will not fail. I will succeed. I will do this. I WILL!

Where for art thou, Motivation?

2009-11-19T06:51:00.000-08:00

I've lost it.

I don't know if it's just gone into hibernation or really frozen to death. I can barely get up to workout on the elliptical for 43 minutes in my nice warm bedroom. Suiting up to go run around outside in 30 degree weather at 6 am in the pitch dark just ain't happenin'.

I have GOT to get this figured out and quick. The marathon is now less than 5 months away. You'd think fear of failure would be a pretty good motivator... but apparently not.

I may need to put the treadmill back in my room. Jason moved it out into the garage, he's converted part of it into his own man-gym complete with punching bag and weight bench. I don't think he uses the treadmill very often. And I bought it so it's mine. So there.

Have I mentioned that I HATE running on the treadmill? Hate it. With A Passion. The level of passion I reserve for Twinkies and Brendan Fraser (only that's the love side of passion, not the hate side - it's just the intensity of the passion that's the same.)

But if I'm going to do this (and make no mistake, I AM going to do this!) then I'm going to need to embrace the treadmill. And by embrace I mean, learn to run on it without crying.

Viva la treadmill.... yeah, I'm not feeling it either.

A Day of Rest

2009-11-13T06:53:00.000-08:00

Friday is my rest day. I wasn't planning on resting today. I was going to get up and do my 42 minutes on the elliptical per usual. Except, I don't feel like getting up. I'm tired and headachy and just plain sleepy. Which makes no sense. I was out cold about halfway through the Office last night. And that show is damn funny, so you know I was exhausted. I slept until my alarm went off at 5:30 this morning... well, I had to get up like 4 times to pee during the night. One of the problems of being old and having had 5 babies. The gifts that keep on giving! So it wasn't a solid night's sleep, though it never is and I did go right back to sleep the minute my noggin' hit the pillow. And then I hit the snooze until about 6:20 when I had to get up to pee AGAIN (OMG, how much did I drink yesterday?!)

And instead of suiting up and hitting the elliptical like I planned, I climbed back into bed propped up with my laptop, took a few advil, and remembered "oh yeah, rest day!" I find rest day ironic since I sleep so much. And I don't tend to feel rested after rest day, but rather lethargic. And less like exercising the next day. Counterproductive.

HOWEVER, I have learned from past experience (cause I'm hard-headed that way and must learn my own negative life lessons) that rest days are crucial. I always over exercise and get repetitive injuries. I'm lucky I haven't experienced a stress fracture. I have to give my body a break. I'd love to push push push it - I get that adrenaline pumping and I just want more. I'm a bit of a junkie, I totally admit that. Probably a good thing I've never done drugs!

Tomorrow I'll be back on the elliptical, doing my Charmed episode's worth of exercise. Pushing a littler harder, going a little further. Slowing building back those all important quad muscles. I'm going to do this right for once!

Building Blocks

2009-11-12T09:26:00.000-08:00

I've been faithfully putting in my time on the elliptical, 40+ minutes daily this week. I push myself a littler harder every time. I could feel it this morning in my quads, in a good way. It's working. I know it's working. I can feel those muscles getting worked, getting stronger. I'm going to be ready to hit that road come next Tuesday and nothing is going to stop me!

I'm looking for a half-mary to run in January. Preferably in California, Northern California. And NOT a trail run (I've learned that lesson, my friends!) So far, not much luck. But I haven't spent a lot of time researching, what with the kids and the working and the movie watching. Priorities, baby!

Anyone have any suggestions?

Fear Factor

2009-11-10T20:32:00.001-08:00

I haven't run since October 27th, and before then the 15th. So I've run twice in the past month. Seriously, that sucks. And now, I can't believe it, but I'm AFRAID to run. I'm out of it. I've lost my conditioning and toning. I haven't kept up on my cross-training, though I did kick it back in this week. Yeah, two days, I know. But I have to start somewhere.

And I'm afraid that I'm going to re-injure myself. I want to do this right and I'm psyching myself out. I want to go running and I'm worried that if I just jump back in without conditioning right, I'm going to be right back where I was with knee pain and problems. ARGH! I need to get out of my head. I swear, I am my own worst enemy.

PLAN - cross and strength train this week. Everyday. Well, one rest day. I need to schedule those in. That's part of where I went wrong before, not enough rest days (ok, NO rest days.) I am taking one day off a week. Period. To rest. So this week, elliptical and squats. I'm going to build it back up. Next week, 3 mile runs Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. Sunday will be 5 miles. I'll build up from there. I WILL be back on schedule by the end of the year. I'm looking for a half-mary in January. I need that goal to focus on and work towards.

NO TRAIL RUNS!!

And I think I'm going to do a triathlon next May with my cousin! If I survive the marathon, that is!

The Lingering Specter of Death

2009-11-08T11:34:00.000-08:00

This damn cold jus won't LEAVE. It's settled into my chest and made itself at home. All I do is work and sleep these days. I'm in bed before it's dark half the time, and it's pitch black out by 6:30. All exercise has ceased. I've put everything I've got into getting rid of this thing and yet, IT WON'T GO AWAY!

It would be one thing if I was REALLY sick. But I'm not, just annoyingly not 100%. And since it's in my lungs, it makes exertion=coughing fit. And that is not really going to work with running or ellipticalling or any other -ing. Which totally bites. Because it's now getting to the point where I'm really starting to lose some muscle tone and "fitness".

The marathon is in 5 months and I'm almost back to square one. So not cool!

Would you say I have a plethora of excuses?

2009-11-03T19:56:00.000-08:00

No run today... again. This cold is kicking my butt!! I am invoking Jillian Michaels' rule of exercising when sick: ok if it's all above the neck, rest if it's below. Well, friends, this in a full on chest cold. It hurts to take deep breaths and I have a hacking, "wet" (YUCK!) cough. If I exert even a little, it sets off a coughing fit. A deep, chesty, hard and painful coughing fit. Good news, those coughing fits have got to be burning some major calories. So really, I've just changed up my workout is all. Though I wouldn't want to do like a marathon coughing fit. Cause that would totally kill me!

However... I feel better today than yesterday. And that gives me hope that I may already be on the other side of this thing. I hate to put in writing that I am aiming to be back on the road by Saturday for fear of jinxing myself.... so I won't! *wink wink*

In the meantime, I am taking all my meds to keep my symptoms at bay. Eating right (well, except for that mountain of Halloween candy I just ate - that totally doesn't count, I was delirious with illness and fever. Yeah, that's the ticket!) and especially getting plenty of SLEEP. Golden, magical, healing, blissful SLEEP. Like in excess of 12 hours a night. It has been heaven. I may be sick forever just so I can get some SLEEP! Even when my cold was at it's worst yesterday, since I'd gotten so much sleep the night before, I felt energetic. I haven't had to take any time off work (not that it's an option, but you know...) and I haven't wanted to. I haven't felt GREAT, but I didn't feel like death warmed over either. I've been more than functional and productive.

If you take nothing else away from this blog, remember this: SLEEP IS ESSENTIAL! Don't let anyone tell you different. Get a good night's sleep. It is the number one best thing you can do for yourself!!!

My Obituary

2009-11-01T10:55:00.000-08:00

Tiffany Tweedie aka Marathon-Mommy died today from exhaustion, a really bad head cold, and mostly embarrassment at her lack of willpower. She was 39, but totally got ID'ed going into an R-rated movie two weeks ago. Unfortunately, due to the bad head cold, she looked like the walking dead for the past 24 hours and would have been able to get that Seniors discount, no questions asked.

She's remembered by her 5 kids, who mostly want to know who to ask what's for dinner. And also can they go to the movies with their friends. And get a ride to school tomorrow. And does this mean no one's going to yell at them about their chores? Cause if that's the case, they're totally fine with eating cereal for dinner, thanks.

She's also remembered by her mom/boss. Who will now get to find out EXACTLY what she did all day at work. And that she can easily be replaced by monkeys. Monkeys without Facebook accounts.

Her siblings will remember her only when they see: Bon Jovi, Junior Mints, Twinkies and adverts for the Paris Marathon. Her sister will also remember her when she is shopping at the Roseville Galleria and goes by the empty spot where that yogurt place that made those pomegranate fro-yos was and be totally sad, cause those were awesome. Her sister-in-law will remember her when she sees anything Twilight related and has to go see New Moon without her and with her husband instead, cause he's not nearly as fun as she was. Her brother in New Mexico is only vaguely aware that he has an older sister and will be glad that all those lame comments on this Facebook pictures have finally stopped.

Tiffany aka Marathon Mommy has asked that in lieu of flowers, everyone invest in extra hand sanitizer and Kleenex with aloe.

It's all Dana Carvey's fault!

2009-10-29T06:17:00.000-07:00

I did not run today. My routine in the morning is to wake up, check email, Facebook, read a few blogs and just let my body charge. However, I got stuck on watching Dana Carvey stand-up on Youtube for over an hour this morning and totally missed my run!
This wouldn't have been a problem if he wasn't so damn funny.

Taking on the Smack Down

2009-10-27T06:57:00.000-07:00

Distance: 3 miles
Time: 38 minutes 0 seconds
Average: 12 minutes 40 seconds
Marathon Time: 5 hours 32 minutes

Despite the smack talk between body and mind, today's run was harder than I had hoped. I guess that's what happens when you go MIA for a few weeks. And really, it's been over a month since I've been on a regular training schedule. Well, that changed today. I'm back. I'm running. I'm cross-training on my off days (that actually started yesterday.) It's time to get back on track. My weight is up four pounds since the beginning of the month. Not horrible, you say. Ah, but that's how I ended up putting on almost 20 lbs between April and August! Yeah, it adds up fast! Yikes!!

I did my 3 miles, then came home and followed it up with 50 crunches, some "butt raises" (I have no idea what they're really called, pelvic thrusts, perhaps?!), 10 push-ups (me and my wimpy spaghetti arms) and 30 seconds held in the plank position.

And how do I feel right now? Fantastic! Yes, there are aches and pains, it wasn't the most enjoyable run and I mentally had to power through at the halfway point. Part of me (most of me) wanted to just call it at the two mile mark and head home. But I didn't. Instead, I kicked it in to high gear and did a half mile sprint, telling myself that if I wanted to get home sooner than I needed to run faster. That actually did the trick. My aches and pains took a temporary hiatus and I was able to concentrate on just getting to the next physical marker. THIS is why I do better running outside as opposed to the treadmill. My mind just can't get around that I'm running in place in my bedroom. Guess I won't be starring in any CGI movies - Brendan Fraser will have to fight off mummies and run from T-Rex without me!

Tomorrow will be cross-training on the elliptical. Thursday will be my next run day. I'm going to stick with the 3 miles on my regular run days. Sunday is the long run day and I'm going for 6 this Sunday. I need to get back on track. I should be up to 8-9 miles on my long runs and 4-5 miles on my regular run days. I can't just jump in now, that's a recipe for disaster. But I'm confident I can get caught back up over the next month. I'm looking for a half marathon to run some time in late December or January. I want to get that one under my belt. But no trail runs! Turned out that half-marathon I was planning on doing in early December - North Face Endurance TRAIL run... it was going to be CRAZY! I finally spent some time checking out the elevation charts and course - uhm... no thank you!! I've learned my lesson. I didn't sign up and thank goodness I didn't!! That is not happening! It's hard enough to run 13.1 miles without throwing in a bunch of hiking and mountain climbing! Crazy people!!

The Response - oh, you knew it was coming!!

2009-10-26T14:45:00.000-07:00

Dear Knees,

You are officially put on notice! Since you are "obviously" back to 100%, training is ON! How'd you like that workout on the elliptical this morning? Good, huh? How about those 50 deep squats? Better? Well, that was just the warm up. Oh, you know it - back to 3 miles tomorrow morning! You've been given fair warning.

Yes, the ass maybe large and lazy, but it is NOT in charge. See, you bypassed it with that letter and went straight to me! Not a smart move, because I don't give a crap about a couple of whiny knees! You thought you were hurting before. HA! That was nothing!! I will have you begging for mercy. B-E-G-G-I-N-G (despite your attempts at writing, I question your literacy!!)

So brace yourselves (oh, the bad puns are only the beginning of the torture!)

Sincerely,

The Ego

Who Taught Them How To Type?

2009-10-23T16:46:00.000-07:00

Dear Tiffany,

It has come to our attention that you have been blaming us for your "inability" to actively train for your upcoming Paris Marathon. We believe this to be a gross over-exaggeration and request... no DEMAND, not only a public retraction but apology. We have been silent up until now, but we will no longer sit idly by while you continue to propagate such slander. We are no more responsible for the breakdown in your training schedule than your hips, ankles or feet. There is only ONE to blame and you know who that is as well as we do. Your giant, lazy ASS!!! So, why don't you GET OFF IT!

Respectfully,

Your Knees

And..... I suck... but just a little... no, a lot.

2009-10-20T09:34:00.000-07:00

Today, Tuesday, supposed to be run day.

Did I run? No, I did not.

Why? Because.

Because why? Because I didn't wanna, that's why!

And then I ate three cookies.

Ok ok, fine. FOUR cookies.

And went back to bed.

And ended up late for work.

Crap.

'Round, 'Round, Get Around, I Get Around, YEAH!

2009-10-15T07:16:00.000-07:00

Distance: 2 miles
Time: 25 minutes 0 seconds
Average: 12 minutes 30 seconds
Marathon Time: 5 hours 27 minutes

Did I go running this morning, in the rain? Why, thanks for asking. As a matter of fact: YES I DID!!

I decided last night that since the worst of the storm had past, and TOM was on his loathesome way out - today was THE DAY! I set the alarm for 6 and was out the door by 6:30. Yay me!!

Now for the injury report. Oh, you knew there would be one - you all who know me so well.

I wore my brand new knee brace - a sport one specifically for runners and made out of some neopreney type stuff. Huge difference from the other one I was wearing that was made out of ace-bandagey type material with some kind of posts or metal or something down the sides for "support" but really for stiffness, lack of flexibility and generally ouchiness. Huge improvement! Huge!! That searing pain down the middle of my knee cap didn't even start to show up until after the first mile and it never got really bad, just present. Enough so that I didn't push it to three miles.

Calf pain? Nope. GONE. Apparently, resting muscles really does heal them. Who knew?! Now I need to keep from over working and re-injuring them. Cause that was annoying more than anything. Glad it's gone. Yay!

New pain... because I am old and also clumsy. Here's the deal: on Tuesday I was getting some boxes out of my garage. It's piled high with boxes because we have some overstock from the wholesale business in there and they take up most of the garage, there's barely enough room to walk around the perimeter really. So anyway, I need to get a couple of the boxes to ship to some customers (yay for business, btw!) and well, uh... did I mention they're stacked all the way to the ceiling? 'Cause they are. So I was trying to pull one out of the middle, towards the top of the stack, cause I'm smart like that. And they sort of collapsed on me. And I woke up on the cement floor under a couple. And my ass hurt, cause that's how I landed. It used to be, when I was heavier, that this would have been a good thing. A nice, cushy fall. Unfortunately, do to my extremely caucasian roots, I now have no ass. NO CUSHION. Which means I landed on my bony butt. Guess what was the first thing hurting this morning on my run? Yep, my lack-of-ass. OUCH OUCH OUCH! Though, it was a nice distraction from the usual knee pain, I will admit.

Speaking of distractions from the pain (I am the Queen of Segways!) while I'm out running, I love to just zone out. Sometimes I'm just really into the music, having a Bon Jovi concert flashback. Sometimes I'm mentally writing this blog or an article or a shopping list. And then there are the times that I daydream about what I'd say to Oprah when she asks me how I went from weighing 220 lbs to running a marathon in Paris on my 40th birthday, and how my new, adoring boyfriend, Brendan Fraser, and I first met (cause if you're going to fantasize about going on Oprah, there's no point in going half-assed!!) Sometimes I'm so caught up in what's going on in my head that I'm surprised my run is over so soon! That's happened on more than one occasion. And once (ONLY once) I actually ran right past my house! Yeah, that was a Brendan Fraser one.

So, next run is planned for Saturday. I'm aiming for 3 miles. No rain. It was actually rather refreshing to run in the drizzle (it wasn't dumping buckets or anything, but I was pretty wet by the end.) I still prefer to run in the dark, though as the days get colder, that may very well change. But for now, that's just how I roll!

Storm of the Century... and also wimpiness

2009-10-13T06:21:00.000-07:00

It's been over two weeks since I last ran. My plan was to give the old road (and knee) a try this morning. However, God does not want me to run just yet, and so he sent a massive storm to tell me this. Yeah, that's totally it. Weather is an act of God, right?! It's totally divine intervention!

Storm-wise, it really is POURING rain out. And high winds. The news is on right now and there are major weather warnings, they keep mentioning all the places you can go pick up sand bags for free, how jacked up the morning traffic is, tons of accident reports, etc... This is the first rain we've had here in months and it's a hell of a storm. Personally, I think our local news media is a bunch of alarmist pansies who live to see who can freak out entire Bay Area first. But I can hear the wind howling and the rain dumping in buckets. So while I think the flooding warnings are a bit extreme, it is a pretty serious storm.

However, that's merely a convenient excuse. If it was a cool, balmy morning with the perfect temperature outside and not a hint of rain in the air, I still wouldn't run today. And no, it's not my knee this time.

I hate to admit it, because I truly loathe using this excuse. But, and sorry to any and all guys who read this... in fact, you can just stop reading here. You can in no way, shape or form understand or sympathize with what I'm going to say next so just click on over to the next blog. As far as you're concerned, it's totally the storm! Ok? I'm not running today because I would be blown and/or washed away. Storm is due over on Thursday, I'll run on Saturday. So you can go and now check back then. K? Super! Buh-bye!!

Ok ladies, now that the men-folk are gone, here's the deal. OMG, I am having the WORST cramps!!! And TOM is... well, let's just say I'm having my own personal flooding problems! There is no way I can go out running, since that seems to speed everything up for me. I'll look like a sexual assault victim by halfway through if I try to do even three miles. And let's face it, the pain, bloating, I swear the girls have grown half a cup size and are SO tender. Like I want to go bouncing around right now, and a tight sports bra? No Thank YOU!!

Normally, TOM is not this vicious. In fact, that 10K trail run of torture that I did with my sister last month - totally right smack in the middle of TOM and no issues whatsoever. But every once in a while, at least a couple of times a year, it's like some kind of internal mutiny is trying to take me down. When I was heavier, it was like this every time. Since I've dropped most of the weight, it's hardly ever this bad. Hmmm... just had a thought.

I haven't been exercising as much the last couple of weeks. And, as previously stated, haven't run at all in over two. And now, TOM is here with a vengence. But last month I was actively 10K training, and TOM was barely an inconvenience (make sure I have supplies with me.) It came and went with hardly a notice... you know what, that totally makes sense! I bet if I was able to check back, I would see that the times TOM is the worst, are the months I've been slacking. And that during my periods of regular activity (sorry, could resist the pun!) TOM was perfectly manageable.

Well, if there was ever a reason to keep up my regular running, exercising, training schedule, THAT is certainly it! Cause right now, I feel like total crap.

Sunday that Run Day... or not...

2009-10-11T10:56:00.000-07:00

I would like to update from the last post that I DID go to the gym that day before picking Sean up for school... and I haven't been back since. Or on the elliptical. I am wallowing in suckage. My get up and go done got up and went, without me!

I can't seem to get my head back in the game. And without my head, my body is a big lazy ASS!! Now I have spent nearly every day since Wednesday on my feet all day. Friday I took the two littlest ones along with my parents and grandparents to Fleet Week in San Francisco. This involved much walking (and not a little dragging of children!) especially since to catch our ferry back out of the City, the kids and I had to WALK to the ferry building from Pier 39. The Ferry Building is the equivalent of Pier ZERO! And the walk is equal to 20 city blocks (piers are odd numbers heading north and even numbers heading south out from the Port of SF ferry building.) My parents and grandparents were leaving on a later ferry, so they were able to wait and wait and wait to finally catch a muni bus that had some room. Trying to leave the City at 6 pm on a Friday, especially during a major event like Fleet Week, is nearly impossible and takes three times as long!

Anyway, suffice it to say, plenty of exercise Friday. Saturday I spent over two hours fighting the crafty crowds at Joann Fabrics and then another couple of hours with the kids at the Petaluma Pumpkin Patch. Again, much exercise involved. In fact, I feel like I might have shin-splints for the first time since starting training. Can you believe it? All that running, a 10K trail torture test, and it's two days of activities with my 5 and 8 year olds that gives me shin splints! Go figure!!

I was going to run this morning. That was the plan, the goal. Last night that burning hot tendon/ligament/whatever the hell it is pain that splits my knee cap in two actually woke me up. Repeatedly. And all running bets were off. But now as I sit here typing this, I wonder if it was a real pain, or did I just dream it?? Cause my knee, it feels totally fine. And that's weird.

Have I become afraid of running? It's possible. I'm known for making these huge, really out there goals and then bailing on them. That's my MO. But I'm determined NOT to do that this time... or anymore at all for that matter. I self-sabotage a lot. Afraid of success? Maybe. Afraid of failure? Absolutely! Somehow, somewhere along the line, I decided that it's better to not try at all then to try and risk failure. What a pansy-ass life philosophy!!

Well, NO MORE!! Tuesday is my next regularly scheduled run day. And dammit, I AM GOING TO RUN!

No Pain... But Still No Run

2009-10-07T11:34:00.000-07:00

The lazy bug has bit me hard and I'm having a hard time shakin' the "I don't wannas". Now that the weather has turned a wee bit colder, getting out of my warm cozy bed is harder than ever!! My eyes used to pop open at 5 am, even on the weekends. It was my routine and I liked it. Now, I'm cursing my alarm clock (with real curse words!) and slamming down on the snooze button til at least 6:30. And even when I do manage a semi-upright position, I just stay hunkered down in bed catching up on email, Facebook and my fave blogs. This is NOT marathon training at it's finest!!

So this morning, I still did the cursing and the slamming. But at 6:56 I crawled out from under the covers, weighed in, cursed some more, suited up and hit the elliptical. And kicked it a couples times too. Then I got on and did a 42 minute workout. Why 42 minutes? Because without commercials, that's how long an episode of Charmed is! Afterwards I did 50 deep squats, 25 straight leg raises (per leg), 50 crunches, and did this legs raised thing that's supposed to work your lower abs for 15 seconds (cause I apparently have ZERO lower ab muscles and was dying at 15 seconds. If I don't start working on those, the best I'm going to hope for is a three-pack!)

And then showers, yell at kids, breakfasts, yada yada yada... everyone out the door ~~mostly~~ on time and here I am at work. My gym bag is in the trunk. I REEEEEAAAALLLY should hit the gym today. Preferably with my car! HAHA!! No, that's not funny. I have crappy insurance.

The gym - how is a single, working full-time PLUS, with 5 kids supposed to freaking find time for the gym. Here's how: we always find time for the things that are important to us. I just need to prioritize it. I NEED to hit that gym today. It is important to me.

I'm picking Sean up from school today. Jason won't be able to, as he will be out terrorizing the citizens of Novato aka his first behind the wheel with his driving instructor! So instead of leaving work just a few minutes before school gets out, I'll leave 45 minutes early and do my gym time.

Priorities, baby!! It's all about the priorities!

Tales of the Injured and Mobility Impaired

2009-10-06T20:21:00.000-07:00

Ok, so that may be a bit of an exaggeration. However, running has been temporarily sidelined due to my god-forsaken knee!! I have got to get past these knee issues once and for all.

I had to bail on the Napa Valley Stomp 10K last weekend. Tad and I went to a movie Friday night and I practically limped out, my tendons running through my kneecap were on fire. From SITTING IN A FREAKIN' MOVIE. And I knew that running that insane nearly 1000 ft incline could potentially be marathon suicide. I need to keep my focus on the big picture: PARIS. And so even though it nearly killed me, I didn't race.

And that sucked.

I haven't run since. Ok, so it's only been like 4 days, but I didn't run at all the previous week either. I haven't gone this long without running since I started training!! But it's crucial to rest and get this injury healed once and for freakin' ALL.

I am REALLY tempted to run tomorrow. But I know it's too soon. I need to spend a good solid week of cross-training with zero pain. That hasn't happened so far. Running right now isn't smart. But this is seriously frustrating!!

I'm going to start posting my cross-training workouts just to keep myself focused and on-task. Plus, it'll be good to be able to look back at an account of what worked (and what didn't!)

Tomorrow morning will be 45 minutes on the elliptical followed by squats, leg extensions and some ab-work. I'll be making a trip to the gym (haven't been in a couple of weeks - shameful, I know!!) and working on the lower body machines. I need to build up these quads and then running is back ON, baby!!

I'm not older... just OLD!!!

2009-09-24T19:18:00.000-07:00

Distance: 3 miles
Time: 39 minutes 40 seconds
Average: 13 minutes 13 seconds
Marathon Time: 5 hours 46 minutes

I waited til today to try another run, hoping I had fully recovered from Saturday's 10K+. I was wrong. Pain in my calves immediately, same one I've been dealing with for like a month now. Knee pain kicked in just after the first mile, wasn't horrible til about halfway through the second. And even then, it was bearable. Same quad issues. I've been cross-training, doing squats and such, everyday since Monday. And I'll keep doing them.

But the worst was my outer hip/thighs - major muscle soreness still! And here it is, over 12 hours later and they're STILL hurting!! I feel OLD. Old and fat and out of shape.

Marathon? What am I thinking? Can I really do this? I've had five kids (and seven pregnancies) over a period of 14 years. I weighed over 200 lbs less than 2 years ago. I was on bedrest for almost a year prior, during and after my pregnancy with Skye. I lost ALL muscle tone during that time. Is it really possible to recover? Have I bitten off more than I can chew?

Honestly, all I need is one person to tell me I can't do it, it's impossible. AND I WILL PROVE 'EM WRONG! So BRING IT!

Tough As Granite 10K

2009-09-20T07:17:00.000-07:00

Distance: 6.5 miles (supposed to be 10K, but organizers said it was actually 6.5 miles)
Time: 1 hour 46 minutes approx.
Average: 16 minutes 18 seconds
Marathon Time: XXX DOA!!

Saturday, my sister and I ran the 10K race in the 2nd annual Tough as Granite trail run. Well, run is misleading. There was some running, a LOT of hiking and way more walking than I had planned. At one point, I wondered if I'd inadvertently signed up for a introductory class to climb Mt. Everest! Looking back at the website, I see now there were links to the elevation and terrain detail guilds. I should have checked those out!! I had NO IDEA what I was getting myself into.

And the HEAT! I am used to running in the morning, before the sun comes up, in Marin County. We are very close to the ocean here, the weather is cool and temperate, with a pretty steady gentle breeze. I rarely get over-heated when running because the weather here is constantly cooling me off. Granite Bay is north-east of Sacramento. It's considerably hotter there. And the 10K didn't even start until 9! Which was CRAZY!! The temperatures were up in the 90s by the time I finished the race.

The biggest challenge mentally was the lack of mile markers. And the water stations were not only poorly spaced, but not at the points we were told they would be. So it was impossible to gauge where I was at any given point. And since this was a trail run, we were running through trees and couldn't see much beyond where we were.

This all combined to produce a somewhat frustrating run. I foolishly didn't bring water because I never need water when I'm running my 6 milers at home. This was NOT like running at home, it was like nothing I've ever experienced! And I was WAY under prepared. I didn't do my homework, I didn't even really read the race homepage!

Learn from my mistake!! Do your homework!! Check out the running route, terrain, topography if available. Look for terms like "trail run"!! I thought we'd be running around the lake at Granite Bay, which we did, but it was along the trails through the woods. Hills, sand, mud, rocks - all were mentioned on the website, if only I had read it!

AND BRING YOUR WATER!! Even if you think you won't need it, bring it! I can not stress this enough!!

The official race results haven't been posted on the website yet, but when they are, you can find them HERE.

A special note: my sister came in 10th in her age division! Way to go, Ash!! She also said she'll never run a trail run again. EVER!!

I, however, am competing in the 2nd annual Napa Valley Stomp trail run on October 3rd. From the reading and research I did last nite (see, I can learn!) it looks like the terrain will be very similar. The biggest difference will be the weather. Napa is closer to Marin (just the next county over) and it's considerably cooler than Sac-town. I'm really glad I have this second one, I'll be better prepared both physically and mentally.

And you better believe I'll be bringing my own water bottle!!

Here are a few unofficial pictures from yesterday's 10K:

It's Official - I'm going to be an International Marathoner!

2009-09-17T18:59:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I put my money where my mouth is... well, where my feet are anyway... shelled out my Euros and registered for the 2010 Paris Marathon!! I've made the commitment and it is ON!

I haven't been running since my half-failed attempt on Saturday. I had considered going this morning, but my knees been feeling so much better that I decided not to tempt fate. I have been working out for 45 minutes on the elliptical every morning, followed by squats, straight leg extentions and some ab-work. My knee feels great, the strained calf muscles have healed and even that pulled quad (if that's what it really was) hasn't made a peep. I think I'm good!

Saturday is the Tough as Granite 10K. My sister is running with me. I'll be heading up to her place tomorrow afternoon (she lives just a few minutes from Granite Bay.) I'm super psyched! Can't wait to post stats and pics Saturday nite!! Then I can cross 10K off my 101 things in 1001 days list (viewable in the sidebar of my Mommy In Real Life blog.)

Quad damn it!

2009-09-12T08:12:00.000-07:00

Distance: 2.5 miles
Time: 36 minutes
Average: 14 minutes 24 seconds
Marathon Time: 6 hours 17 minutes

Today was supposed to be a 4 miler. However, at the 2 mile mark I realized I'd pulled my left quad muscle right where it connects to the knee and had to slow to a gimpy walk immediately. Smart move on my part, as the pain was almost completely gone by the time I got home. So the injury is very minor and if I follow the instructions I found HERE, I'm confident I'll still be able to participate in next Saturday's 10K. Probably not a full-performance level, though. But that's ok. There's another 10K a couple weeks later in Napa and I just registered for it. With the right rehabilitation program, I'll be able to increase my health and time. It'll be interesting to see the difference.

The plan for this week is to spend today resting with my knee elevated. I have a bag of frozen broccoli on it right now. Tomorrow I have to work, but I'm going to try to stay off of it as much as possible. Then Monday it's back to the gym and quad-strengthening exercises. Tuesday I'll do some light walking on the treadmill. Wednesday is back to the gym. Thursday I'll go for a very light jog with brace. At the first hint of pain, I'll stop immediately. Friday will be a gym day again. And Saturday I'll run. No matter what. I'm determined. And we've all seen what kind of damage I can do when I set my mind to it!!

Today's run = Epic Fail

2009-09-09T07:49:00.000-07:00

Well, my knee decided about a quarter mile into my run that this just wasn’t going to happen this morning. Oh, I am PISSED. I’ve never had to stop and walk back home before. But powering through was not an option. GRRRR!!! I am not a happy camper… er… runner. I’m going to do a little google research and see if I can figure this thing out.

Four minutes later...

Well, that didn’t take long, did it? First result on Google search = bullseye!

What is it?

Kneecap pain or runner’s knee, known to doctors as patellofemoral joint pain or patellofemoral pain syndrome, is characterised by pain at the front or middle edge of the knee or under the kneecap.

Symptoms

Pain at the front or middle edge of the knee or under the kneecap. The pain can often be felt while squatting or going up or down stairs, and when a person gets up after having sat for a while.

Causes

The pain can be caused by any imbalance or dysfunction of the stabilising forces that keep the patella (kneecap) tracking smoothly in the patellofemoral groove on the femur (thighbone).

These causes include overly tight thigh (quadriceps) muscles, tightness of the iliotibial band – the strong band of thick tissue running down the outside of the thigh, weakness of one of the large quadriceps muscles – the vastus medialis oblique (VMO), and faulty biomechanics, such as that causing excessive pronation (rolling in of the foot during the gait cycle).

Treatment

Initial treatment may involve taping of the kneecap to hold it closer to the midline of the body to relieve pain. Rehabilitation usually involves stretching and strengthening exercises to achieve correct balance of the stabilising muscles around the kneecap. If there are biomechanical abnormalities, orthotics may be needed.

The full article can be found HERE.

So, I basically need to go back to the gym and resume my knee physical therapy exercises and put my knee brace back on. In other words, it’s the same cause I’ve always had, it’s just manifesting itself in a slightly different way.

Much suckage.

Doin' the Time Warp

2009-09-06T05:54:00.000-07:00

Distance: 6 miles
Time: 1 hour 16 minutes approx.
Average: 12 minutes 40 seconds approx.
Marathon Time: 5 hours 32 minutes approx.

Notice the approximates... that would be because somehow my stopwatch got stopped about halfway thru my run. I know I started right around 6:30 this morning, but it's give or take a couple of minutes. So I guestimated. The point of today's run was the 6 miles, not the time, so really no biggie... though it would have been nice to have a more precise measurement. But it would also be nice to be a size 2 again too... can't always have everything!

Can we talk about pain for a minute? Yeah, you know I'm going there. The calf pain was minimal and easy to ignore. The searing pain splitting my left knee cap in two... not so much. Obviously a pinched nerve. And so, I ran anyway. Cause really, a pinched nerve? What the hell am I going to do about that? Nada... and then somewhere in the middle of mile 4, it was just gone. Which was weird, I kept waiting for it to start in again. So the lack of pain was almost as distracting as the actual pain. I know, I have issues. I'm seeking therapy and medication. Until then: DEAL!

Today's 6 miles also signifies another mileage milestone (is that redundant??) It's basically the equivalent of a 10K, which I will be running in less than 2 weeks. I feel totally strong and confident. I've pretty much decided to enter in the 10K the following week in Napa (see previous blog for link, I'm lazy today. Hey, I ran 6 miles before most people had breakfast this morning, so cut me some slack!)

And, speaking of registering for races... the Paris Marathon website says that registration will open on the 15th of this month! You KNOW I'm going to be one of the first. Registering will be the final nail in the I AM COMMITTED TO DOING THIS coffin. I don't part with my money easily, what with it being scarce and hard to come by!

You know, when I'm out running, I mentally right that day's blog and I have all sorts of witty insights and antecdotes and colorful metaphors... and then I get home, turn off the mp3, take a shower and promptly forget everything. And my blogs end up being "I ran today. It hurt. The end." Sorry about that. I am old and forgetful and lucky I can remember most of my kids' names at any given time. I think I'm going to start blogging as soon as I get in, while I'm cooling down and before I shower. So, forgive my future blogs if they're a little sweaty and smelly... but they'll be clever and witty. It's all for you!

This is total bollocks!

2009-09-05T06:18:00.000-07:00

No run again today. I thought for sure when I went to bed last night that I would get up and run today. But when the alarm went off and I set feet on the floor, there was a searing pain in both inner calf muscles. SEARING. I may be stubborn but I'm not stupid. I know if I go running anyway, I am going to pay for it in the long run (pun fully intended!)

This is really f***ing annoying. That 10K is 2 weeks from today. AND I WILL RUN IN IT NO MATTER WHAT. I just really wish that I could get past this stupid pain. The muscles feel tight and it's really in a specific spot, in the same place on both calves. It's almost not in the calves, it's lower and probably about 6 inches directly above that inside ankle knobby bone thing (wow, my command of medical terms is overwhelming! Hard to believe I'm not a doctor, isn't it?)

I'm pretty sure I've pulled or strained something: muscle, tendon, ligament, whathaveyou... And I know the only "cure" for that is rest. I can't stay off it completely, cause DUH I have to walk. My kids have gotten used to eating and living indoors, so taking time off work and staying completely off my feet is out of the question. Which is totally hampering my recovery time.

So, my dilemma is tomorrow's long run. It's my first 6 miler... which for those not into metric conversion, is basically a 10K (10K = 6.2 miles). I have been really looking forward to this run. Back about a decade ago (that would be, back in the '90s when I was in my late 20s) and I was last marathon training, I used to run 6 miles every day. Up until my knees rebelled and I could hardly walk and had to stop.

Back then, I still thought it was the torn cartilage that I'd been misdiagnosed with in my teens when I first started having knee problems. Now I know the real problem is that I'm double jointed, which means I tend to hyper-extend my knees causing extra strain and pull on the tendons and ligaments surrounding my kneecaps. And then my kneecaps slide around and pinch nerves and ligaments, causing excruciating pain and all sorts of other problems... well, you can see where that would be an issue. Now I cross-train to strengthen my quads and the muscles surrounding my knees which in turn keep my caps from moving out of place. I've also changed my running stance slightly so that my knees never fully or over-extend when I run. It has made a world of difference and I rare have much issue with my knees... until I start having other problems. Then my knees get in on the fun and all hell breaks loose as in my last run.

I'm off to visit friends today. So I won't be home or resting. But when I get in tonite, I'm going to try putting some ice packs on those areas of pain tonite and see if that helps. Unless there is searing pain, I'm really determined to go on that run tomorrow.

There's a 5K/10K/10 mile race in Napa on October 3rd. I am seriously considering signing up for the 10K. It's just two weeks after the Granite Bay 10K I'm running with my sister. I think the more races I can run in will 1) help keep me motivated and 2) prepare me for the marathon 3) increase my awesome collection of race memorabilia! It's all to get me to Paris!

Oh, and I'm seriously thinking of getting the Rosetta Stone for French. Mostly so that I can know how to ask where the bathroom is en Français!

And then there was NONE!

2009-09-03T17:09:00.000-07:00

You'll notice a lack of stats here. That's because there was a lack of run today. After Tuesday's Run Of Agony, I had to re-evaluate. I was just injuring myself more and more. I can be damn stubborn that way. So, I have decided to take a few days off to rest up, heal, repair, whatever... and then, yesterday, I realized that I am coming down with a cold. Not cool. My body is in full conspiracy mode. My knees and calves got together, skipped the too obvious alliance with the hip-flexors and went straight to the head! Sore throat, blocked sinuses, itchy eyes, headache... it's mutiny!!

HA - what they don't know is my secret weapon... Cold-Eeze. This stuff is awesome. They're like cough drops but I think loaded with zinc and vitamins and fairy dust and god knows what else! I start popping them at the first signs of that cold and they stop it in its tracks. I am not even kidding. It's like magic only without the wands and Alan Rickman. I took a few this morning and already I'm feeling SO much better. And, the two days off running have my calves feeling loads better, hardly a twinge when I have to use the stairs. And not a complaint out of my knees since yesterday.

So I continue with my schedule, which means tomorrow is a non-run day anyway. And then Saturday morning, I hit the road again. Just a 3 mile jaunt... how awesome is it that I now think of running 3 miles as easy, simple, one of my light runs! So very cool. And Sunday, I believe Sunday sees me doing 6 miles. And those 6 miles, I'm going to kick their ass... as long as I don't get lost again!

An Unholy Union

2009-09-01T07:17:00.000-07:00

Distance: 3 miles
Time: 37 minutes 58 seconds
Average: 12 minutes 40 seconds
Marathon Time: 5 hours 32 minutes

My knees and calf muscles have conspired against me. I should have seen it coming, the signs were there. Secret lunches, mysterious phone calls... they've been plotting to take me down. And today they unleashed their plan. Even though I did an easy 30 minute warm-up walk on the treadmill followed by 5 minutes of stretching before I even headed out the door, the minute I hit the road the calf pain flared up surprisingly strong and fast. But did I let it stop me? Why no I did not! That was nothing new, I knew it wouldn't get worse (at least I was pretty sure) so I ran on.

And then, about a half mile in, they pulled out the big gun. A sharp, searing pain splitting right down the middle of my left knee cap. HEY - that was new! I was pretty sure, though, that it was a pinched nerve, not damage being done. So I ran on. And then the right knee cap started to ache, that old pain I'd been having a month or so ago when I had to take a week off. Yeah, that was back now too. OK, so I've got basically everything in self-attack mode. But I kept going.

And it all hurt the WHOLE RUN. It never got better. Fortunately it never got worse. But honestly, all I need is for my hip-flexors to start acting up too and I'll have my own little internal Axis of Evil. I can't have that happen. It took months for my hipflexors to heal properly last time. It was disasterous.

So this means my whole walking/stretching/warm-up pre-emptive routine is not working. Crap. Running is off for a few days. I have to give everything a rest from any sort of impact cardio/working out. I'm going to go back to the gym and continue the strength training. And I'm going to look into some yoga DVDs. See if I can get past this hurdle.

The Agony of Da Knees

2009-08-30T08:32:00.000-07:00

Distance: 5 miles
Time: 1 hour 05 minutes 50 seconds
Average: 13 minutes 10 seconds
Marathon Time: 5 hours 45 minutes

I was worried about today's run. Especially since those inner calf muscles (I really need to find out what they're called) were hurting the minute I got out of bed this morning. But I suited up and headed out the door anyway. No worries about getting lost today since I was following last Sunday's same "where the hell am I" route that had turned out to be exactly 5 miles.

About the 3 mile mark, not far from where the route extends past my regular 3 mile run, there's a pretty steep hill. This is where my body decided to put in it's loudest protest. And boy, did my knees jump in on that bandwagon. They were screaming, throwing a huge tantrum, and basically acting like a spoiled child. Now, if this had been a legitimate complaint, I would have absolutely listened and halted to a walk immediately. But it wasn't. They are just like lazy teenagers who want to stay up all night online gaming and then sleep til afternoon and refuse to do their chores. So I had to get strict, tell 'em to quite the belly-aching and shape up NOW. And the minute the road leveled out, they complied and went back to quietly muttering under their breath and giving me the occasional stink-eye. Basically, normal.

And really, through the whole run, everything mostly stayed the same. The calf muscles or tendons or whatever it is that's giving me trouble hurt, uh, basically the whole time. No more, no less. My knees complained on the hard parts and were barely noticeable on the rest. I also didn't push it, but took it as a light jog. I didn't worry about the time, and concentrated more on my form and trying to listen to how my body was responding. I've had injuries that I've ignored before and they've taken me completely out of the game. I don't want to repeat that so I'm trying to be more pro-active this go around.

And then I hit the last quarter mile and thought, what the hell. I threw it in to high gear and literally sprinted that last bit. And it. felt. GOOD! I mean, REALLY GOOD! Like, I should be a sprinter. I'd forgotten what it was like to run at full speed. I was FLYING. And the shocker, the pain in my calves and knees completely disappeared. COMPLETELY. Now, this may be to do by body redirecting all my blood to my heart, so I couldn't actually FEEL my legs! I know my hands went tingly and numb. But honestly, that was so awesome! I know there is no way I could run the entire way at that speed. I mean, I was quite literally out of breath by the time I hit the end of it. But wow, I am going to start doing from now on, sprinting the last bit. What an exhilarating way to finish!

Running vs. Jogging

2009-08-29T08:19:00.000-07:00

Distance: 3 miles
Time: 42 minutes 49 seconds
Average: 14 minutes 16 seconds
Marathon Time: 6 hours 14 minutes

I hit my first major "glitch" since returning to training. I woke up yesterday morning with a searing pain in both inner calf muscles. Same spot, both legs. It's not shin splints (I googled it, plus I've had shin splints in the past, this was NOT that.) It's due to over training and not scheduling any true rest days. I've been spending 60 minutes every non-run day on my elliptical. I also workout on the elliptical 5 days a week in the evening. Plus during the weekdays I do a 30 minute strength training DVD after my run or 60 on the elliptical. And I go to the gym 6 days a week. I know, it's a lot. Apparently, it's too much for a non-Biggest Loser contestant with no personal trainer. Where's Jillian when I really need her?!

So I did something I hated doing yesterday. I didn't workout. At all. No elliptical, DVD or gym. Nothing. It sucked. I need my a.m. endorphins to get my butt moving and my day on track. I made odd food choices. I felt DEPRESSED. Man, do I need that kick in the morning.

However, I woke up this morning and PRESTO - no pain! I walked around the house a bit. I even did a couple of test squats (I could NOT squat down yesterday. The calf muscles required to do that literally would not let me!) Nothing, not a twinge. So I got all excited, suited up and headed out the door.

And I hadn't even finished the one block warm up walk before the pain was back. Not as severe as yesterday, but there nonetheless. And so instead of running, pushing to see how fast I could go, I jogged. I took it light and easy. The point was finishing, and seeing if I could find a way to work out the kinks. I wondered if the muscles just needed to get really warmed up. By mile 2, I figured that wasn't it. But by then my right knee was starting to complain just a touch. It was the top of the knee cap. And the pain in that calf had abaited. Hmm.. if I shifted how I landed on that leg just a touch, the knee pain went and the calf pain flared. Ok. Knee and calf related (shocker, I know!)

So, at the end of three miles, my calves hurt about as much as they did when I started. No more and no less. Sitting cross-legged on my bed now, the pain is all but gone. I have no other workouts scheduled for today (Saturday was always strictly a run day, the closest thing I had going towards a rest day.) Tomorrow is my long run day. Another 5 miler (planned this time!) I'll be jogging that one too. Until this calf pain is figured out, I need to take it easier or I'm going to literally be out of the running before the gun even goes off. So my time is going to be a little slower, my mile average longer. And I'm going to be ok with that. For now.

What was that sonic boom? Oh, just me breaking the sound barrier!

2009-08-27T09:42:00.000-07:00

Distance: 3 miles
Time: 35 minutes 32 seconds
Average: 11 minutes 50 seconds
Marathon Time: 5 hours 10 minutes

YYYYEEEEESSSSS! That's right - under 12 minute miles! I really challenged myself this morning. No more just jogging along comfortably anymore. I RAN. Hard. I did ease off during that last half of the second mile and then kicked it back up for the last mile. And it paid off. I wasn't dying at the end of it, but I was sure glad when it was over!

It amazes me that I've been able to increase my time so dramatically so quickly. It was just a couple of weeks ago that I was struggling to get in under 15 minute miles. I've taken 3 minutes off my AVERAGE mile time! I am truly shocked. The human body is totally amazing!

And my knees - all issues are a thing of the past. I don't even need my braces, I've been running these past couple of weeks completely without them. All the additional exercise I've been doing to strengthen them is really paying off. This isn't to say that I won't possibly have problems later on (ooh, a double negative. My high school English teacher just shuddered.) But I am doing every thing I can to prevent them.

Saturday is another 3 mile and then Sunday is a fiver (again! I'm actually just going to follow the "I got lost" path I did last Sunday. It was exactly 5 miles and, uh, yeah I already know it!

Brendan Fraser, WTH?

2009-08-25T07:04:00.000-07:00

Distance: 3 miles
Time: 38 minutes 20 seconds
Average: 12 minutes 47 seconds
Marathon Time: 5 hours 35 minutes

Oh YEAH!! I am kicking serious ass here!! Not only did I NOT get lost this morning (of course, it's the same 3 mile run I've been doing for weeks, so getting lost would have been seriously embarrassing and probably necessitated a call to see if I could get a room by my grandparents in their assisted living home) BUT I bested my own time! I'm going to be under twelve minute miles in no time!! Watch out, Kenyans, it's ON!

Since the kids started back to school, I've had to really adjust my schedule so I'm getting up EARLY. I'm talking, the roosters are all KEEP IT DOWN, WE'RE STILL SLEEPING early! And me, I'm not so much the early to bed, early to rise type. So I've had to take some drastic steps to help my non bright-eyed and bushy-tailedness in the a.m. This has required a NoDoz in the morning to help get me functioning. Its worked pretty well, I take it about a half hour before I have to get up and dressed and sure enough I'm wide awake and ready to hit the road (or elliptical depending on the day.)

However, it's night that's given me the most trouble. Going to sleep before 9 pm is tough and I tend to lay in bed trying to go to sleep with no luck. So, I've invested in some Advil PM. I have to take it around 7:30 in order to make sure it's completely OUT of my system by morning. This is not really my optimal plan, but it's helping get my system used to a new routine and I'm hopeful that within a month or so my bod will be doing this without medicinal aide!

A side effect of the Advil PM has been some weird dreams. I guess I'm sleeping heavier. I usually wake up several times during the night (probably left over from the decades of 2 am feedings!) But since I've been doping before bedtime, I've slept like a log (do logs really sleep? WTF is up with that expression???) So, I had this dream last night. That I was at a party on a houseboat (I'm guessing I've watched one too many episodes of More To Love!) and all these people I didn't know were there and all dressed up fancy. Except me, I was in some vintage tshirt and jeans (my reg attire). Brendan Fraser was there, but he pretty much ignored me the entire time. He did spend a lot of the night hanging out with Steve Young, though. They seemed really buddy-buddy. What is up with that, Bren?! Seriously not cool!

When My Mind Wanders, My Body Follows

2009-08-23T08:30:00.000-07:00

Distance: 5 miles
Time: 68 minutes 40 seconds
Average: 13 minutes 44 seconds
Marathon Time: 5 hours 59 minutes

Today's run was supposed to be 4 miles. Notice I ran 5. Yeah, I got lost! I knew it was going to happen when I was mapping it out on MapMyRun - I extended my 3 mile run by tacking on a fourth mile at the end that weaves around a part of my neighborhood I'm not that familiar with. Lots of turns down different side streets. I knew it wasn't my greatest idea - and it wasn't! I took a wrong turn, turned right when I should have turned left, and ended up coming out at the wrong part and then turned right again when I should have turned left and about a quarter of a mile up that street realized that I was on the right street but running AWAY from home instead of towards it. Oops! I knew I should have invested in a pedometer with GPS!!

The upside is: I totally ran 5 miles today! And I could have gone another mile NO PROBLEMA! That's right, I could have run a 10K this morning and kept the pace I was going easily. Oh yeah, I would have blown that 80 year old guy right out of the water! Ok, so I'm aware that metaphor makes no sense with regards to running. But I just got lost in my own neighborhood so really, nonsensical metaphors are the least of my worries!! Good thing I'll have a huge pack of runners to follow through the streets of Paris! At this rate, I will still be able to see a few of them by the time I'm crossing the finish line!

The Hand of Tim Curry

2009-08-22T08:31:00.000-07:00

Distance: 3 miles
Time: 40 minutes 0 seconds
Average: 13 minutes 20 seconds
Marathon Time: 5 hours 49 minutes 12 seconds

Hmmm... interesting. I was bone tired this morning when I started my run. There was definitely some mental pep-talking going on, just to get me out the door and moving. Interesting because even though I went to bed a wee bit later, I slept in more than twice as long to compensate. And the sun was already up. All things you'd think make me more awake and raring to go, instead of less. Must be the masochist in me, I function better when I'm being tortured. Or do I. Cause did you check out that time?! Yeah - took some serious minutes off my run, baby! I was doing some mental challenges when I was out there. Trying to get to the corner before the song ended, finishing the last half mile in a certain time, etc... It really helped. I think this is why I do better outside than on the treadmill. I'm just too visual.

I mentioned the other day that I run mostly IN the street, in the bike lane. Supposedly asphalt is kinder to the joints than concrete. I do it mostly because all the driveways make the sidewalk really uneven and it's just harder on my knees. I'm worried I'm goin to misstep and either twist something or take a hard fall. Not the kind of setbacks I need this early in the game!

So, as I'm running a long in the street, I have to run by a LOT of those sewer drain openings. And I admit, I give them an extra wide berth. Because honestly, especially in that early morning dawn, I sort expect a clown hand to come shooting and out and try to grab my ankle. And when I'm running toward a curb and there's one, I won't look directly in it. Cause I really don't want to see those creepy pointy teeth smiling up at me!

Tomorrow is my first mileage increase in a while. 4 miles. Ouch. I better get to sleep early tonite!

Just Call Me Invisi-girl!

2009-08-20T20:23:00.000-07:00

Distance: 3 miles
Time: 41 minutes 20 seconds
Average: 13 minutes 46 seconds
Marathon Time: 6 hours 0 minutes 30 seconds

You know, I really kicked it into high gear on my run today. I was sure I'd taken at least 5 minutes off my time. At LEAST! I was totally pushing it, concentrating, every time I felt myself slowing down I'd speed it back up again. And all that effort took FORTY SECONDS off my time. Really?? Seriously?! Not even a minute?! WTF???

The kids started school today. Which means that (as of Monday actually) I had to adjust my morning schedule... so I now get up at 5am. Yep. 5 o'freaking clock in the morning! On my non-run days I do 60 minutes on the elliptical, so it's the same schedule. (Weekends I snooze til 7. It's feels so decadent, I know!) All that leads to me now running mostly in the dark, what I like to call Shouldn't I still be in freakin' bed o'clock! Currently, the sun rises just as I'm hitting the last half mile or so.

I've come to realize that I need to get some new running clothes. Currently, I'm in all black. In the dark. On poorly lit streets. I usually run in the bike lane, which means I am literally running on a black street. So, in essence, I have found my super power. I am the invisible girl.

Normally there isn't a lot of traffic even in Marin at 5 am (other cities in the bay area are already ramping up into morning rush hour with the drive into the City, but we're close enough up here that it doesn't start until after 6.) And so I feel pretty safe running in the bike lane. It's much easier on the joints, especially knees.

However, there is this one blind corner about halfway in. There is no bike lane and no SIDEWALK. Just some gravel on a very narrow shoulder. Oh, and the street is just one lane. And there is this very high wall of trees and shrubs next to the path. So you literally can not see the cars coming until they are right THERE! Which means, they can't see you either. And by you, I mean me. Especially in my all goth ensemble. I'm going to end up a hood ornament.

So I guess I'm going to have to get something white (wha, not after Labor Day!) or reflective. I saw someone running the other morning with one of those orange road worker vests on. Maybe I should just get a traffic cone hat? Cause I could totally rock that!

Brilliant? Why yes I am, thanks for noticing!

2009-08-18T07:34:00.000-07:00

Distance: 3 miles
Time: 42 minutes 0 seconds
Average: 14 minutes 0 seconds
Marathon Time: 6 hours 5 minutes

It looks like my little plan was genius, sheer genius! Knee problems? What knee problems? I don't know of no stinkin' knee problems! Other than my knees being appropriately sore at the end of the run (as was the rest of my body) I barely even acknowledged their existence. Well, beyond that fact that running without knees would be fairly difficult. Probably why Zombies don't run. Rigor mortis? Speaking of, saw a trailer for Zombieland the other day! OMG looks hysterical! Finally, a Woody Harrelson movie I might enjoy!

So after over a week of no running, today was awesome. Did I mention I ran the full 3 miles, no walk breaks?! Oh yes I did!! There was one point about a mile in, where I was coming up to an intersection. And I heard the little voice in my head mention quite casually that if I turned down that street it'd cut a half-mile off my run. Cause it was my first day back and I shouldn't have to really push it my first day, right? Yeah, I didn't even let her finish and told her to fuck off! We will NOT be having that kind of talk around here, thank you very much! If she wants to suggest pushing it an extra half-mile, well, she can stick around. But this whole taking short cuts is total bullshit and WE WILL HAVE NONE OF IT!

I finished the run strong (it helps that the final 1/2 mile is on a very slight downgrade!) The breathing controlled. Seriously dripping in sweat. It was a good run!

Give it a rest already!

2009-08-15T07:35:00.000-07:00

Even though today would be a run-day, I'm taking a rest day. I've been working out really hard for the past two weeks and I'm getting ready to start a 30-day Boot Camp on Monday. So I'm giving myself the weekend to rest and recoup before I hit it hard.

The knees... what knees? Knee pain is a thing of the past! I've been working 'em hard and they're not complaining at all. So the plan is to start back on with the running on Tuesday. I'll be easing back in with 3 mile runs and some planned walking breaks in them. I feel really positive about this.

Registration for the Paris Marathon is supposed to open in either September or October, I keep checking their website every week hoping for an update, but no luck so far. No worries. I can be patient (oh, are you laughing? You know me so well. Patience is a virtue I do not possess.)

Have a great weekend. I'll be checking back in Monday!

On the right track!

2009-08-12T21:01:00.001-07:00

My knees are feeling infinitely better. Now I'm just getting the occasional twinge and I have learned how to re-align how I'm standing or walking to make that go away. I'm definitely going to master this!

I've been doing 60 minutes on the elliptical at least once a day (I did 60 am and pm today. Go me!) I've also been changing up either a workout at the gym or some knee physical therapy exercises every day. I think that's been helping tremendously too.

I've also gotten a better handle on my diet. The BEST thing for my knee would to get this excess weight off of it. So I've stepped it all up and I'm definitely making some progress there.

I'm anxious to start back at the running again next week. I'm feeling strong and I'm working all the right muscle groups - quads, hams & glutes. I've got scheduled mostly 3 mile runs for the next few weeks with just the occasional longer run on Sunday. I'm going to take it slow. I've still got 8 months to go and I'm determined to do this right and not take myself out of the race before it's even started!!

Oh, and my sister and I are running in a 10K next month! The Tough as Granite race in Granite Bay. It's just a few miles from my sister's house, so I'll be camping there Friday night and all ready for the big race Saturday! Another goal about to be accomplished!

At least he didn't have an oxygen tank!

2009-08-08T19:40:00.000-07:00

Back when I ran (crawled) that 5k last December, I didn't get the official stats. I was told it was more informal than that and they were keeping official times. Well, I was googling myself tonite (cause what, people don't do that?) and I discovered there WAS an officially posted finishers list. The shock, that man in his 70s that I came in ahead of by a few minutes. Well, I was wrong. He was 80 and I beat him by 34 seconds. Ego - it's been drop-kicked. OUCH!

Here's the link: Mission Rock 5K results - obviously, I'm the last one from the bottom. I wonder if Bob needs a training buddy?

Elliptical day

2009-08-08T19:21:00.000-07:00

Time: 60 minutes
Distance: 1.44 (I'm not sure exactly what it's measuring in. I need to find the manual!)
Resistance: 10 (10 is the easiest, 1 is the hardest. Usually I go at 8, but I wasn't paying attention!)
Incline: 30% (that's max)

As I'm doing this, I'm figuring more and more out. It seems that I am the opposite of pigeon-toed. And when my feet are rotated ever so slightly out it puts some stress on the ol' knees. But if I keep my feet lined up perfectly straight, presto! no pain!! If this is what's happening on the elliptical, I'm sure that's what's causing the problems when I run. So I need to concentrate on keeping my feet pointed straight ahead, almost rotated in.

I may just figure this whole walking running though out yet! Only took 39 years. Who says I'm not a quick learner!

I stumbled across my pride

2009-08-07T15:13:00.000-07:00

Distance: 3 miles
Time: 43 minutes 30 seconds
Average: 14 minutes 30 seconds
Marathon Time: 6 hours 20 minutes

I did my 3 miles yesterday morning. And decided that I’ve got to give up the running for a week or so, give my knees a break. I’m going to up the elliptical and gym/physical therapy time. I’ve got to get these knees back on track! The ligament pain down the insides of my knees is a sharp, burning type pain. The kind that says HELLO. STOP DOING THIS PLEASE. NOW!!! OR WE WILL QUIT. DO YOU REALLY WANT TO GO THERE?! (my knees are quit the pushy bitch, aren’t they?!)

I went on-line and found this really great podcast of knee exercises to help strengthen weak knees. (Disclaimer: I've seen my doc, so I'm medically sound to do this! I'm doctor approved!) It's done by MadeFit TV and hosted by Jennifer DiDonato. She has some GREAT exercises that can easily be done at home, no special equipment required! Click HERE for the link. There are also a bunch of other podcasts that look really interesting and I plan on spending some time there, probably when I'm laid up in bed with the frozen veggie knee compresses watching Shark Week - basically, every night lately! BTW - check out the GUNS on her!! She could give Jillian Michaels a serious run for her money! And you all know how I worship at the feet of Jill!!

I know I haven't been blogging on my non-run days, but since I'm subbing elliptical for running, I'll keep blogging on my pseudo-run days.

I am also going to mention that after the run, my knees (esp. the right one) hurt like a mother for about an hour or so. And then stopped. Altogether. For the rest of the day! I still iced (veggied?) them that night when I got home anyway, and took another Vicodin at bed-time. Cause yep, sure enough, I woke up about 3 am with knee pain. Not severe (I'm an insanely feather-light sleeper! I blame motherhood and listening for newborns breathing! Helps now though, my teens don't dare sneak out of the house! I can hear them even thinking about it!) but enough to kill the rest of the night (morning?) for me. And the pain has been mild but THERE today...

Until I did something monumentally stupid and upped the ante, big time. I was carrying out a box (empty but huge) and couldn't see where I was walking and missed the edge of the curb to step down on the asphalt in the back parking lot. Well, for whatever reason I locked my right knee and then ended up thudding all my weight down on that leg and over-hyper-extending my knee. O.M.G!! I thought I was going to die right there! I checked to see if my leg has somehow ignited, the pain was like fire. I was convinced I had jacked up the whole works right then and there.

Somehow I managed not to scream, hobbled back inside to my desk, and immediately had to field three phone calls from customers. Not optimal. By the end of the phone calls I was literally sweating from the pain. A co-worker mentioned going to the doctor. Uhm, for what, stupidity? I was hurt, but not really injured. I mean, besides giving them a good laugh, I'm not sure what that would accomplish. I am capable of taking Advil and staying off my leg all on my very own, without a medical degree.

And you know what, within about an hour, the pain had lessed dramatically (and do I know about drama?!) and now, several hours later, it only aches with a residual pain (mostly to remind me of what an idiot I am. Grace? Nope, she doesn't live here!)

I'm supposed to hit the gym today. I'm still going to go, but limit it to about 20 minutes of upper bod work and some ab-crunches.

I have uber-movie night tonite!! First, GI Joe starring Brendan Fraser... ok, fine. Cameo by Brendan Fraser (should be STARRING, what were they thinking?!) And then Julie & Julia with Amy Adams, Meryl Streep and Stanley Tucci (whom I just adore, didn't you just fall in LOVE with him in The Devil Wears Prada - and by the way, nice to see them back together. He and Streep have such marvelous chemistry!)

It's going to be a busy night, lots of Diet Coke and frozen Junior Mints!! No, not for the knees, for the spirit!

No Big Love for the Treadmill Part 2

2009-08-04T18:48:00.000-07:00

Stats from tonite's run:

Distance: 2 miles
Time: 30 minutes 23 seconds
Average: 15 minutes 11.5 seconds
Marathon Time: 6 hours 38 minutes

Oh, it gets worse. Combine that with the stats from this morning's run:

Distance: 3 miles
Time: 51 minutes 03 seconds
Average: 17 minutes 01 second
Marathon Time: 7 hours 28 minutes

So, at the rate I'm going, I better get over to Paris now. Cause if I start running tomorrow I might finish the marathon by April 11th! 2011!

The knees. Ah, the knees. I am currently propped up on my bed with a bag of frozen broccoli on one knee and a bag of frozen California blend veggies on the other (we are not pea people.) They hurt all day today. Got worse as the day went on (usually they feel better as the muscles and ligaments warm up and stretch out over the course of a day.) I can only think that mangling them first thing this morning really just fucked up the whole day. I will not be making that mistake again.

While I was hobbling around the neighborhood on this evening's run, I was able to do some stride analysis. I run differently on the treadmill. Maybe it's because I don't know how to set it right or it just don't do it right, I don't know. But I pick up and put down my feet differently, my running stance is different, I lean forward at a different angle. And by different, I obviously mean wrong.

I'm pretty sure I'm hyper-extending my knees when I'm on the treadmill. That combined with the stress of high-impact running on a less than optimal surface (one that's moving while I'm essentially standing still in stead of the other way around) and I think that's why the treadmill messes me up. Yep, definitely the treadmill's fault. Damn treadmill.

I'm going to do some looking into a knee brace that prevents hyper-extension, buy a pair, and wear them all the time. My natural stance is with one leg hyper-extended and I switch my weight back and forth, hyper-extending first one knee and then the other. I do this subconsciously, it's how I've always stood. I have become self-conscious of it now, but I realized that I don't know HOW to stand otherwise. So I still find myself doing it all the time. The doc said that the more I do this, the looser my knee caps will get and the more problems I'm going to continue to have. I need to figure this one out. Or I'm going to end up in a wheel chair by my 45th birthday!

Tomorrow is elliptical and a trip to the gym (upper body workout.) For whatever reason, my knees LOVE the elliptical. They actually stop hurting all together after being on it for just a minute or too. I think it's because I HAVE to keep soft knees on the elliptical. And that keeps everything in it's place. Which is awesome. Too bad there's no elliptical marathon. Cause I could seriously give the Kenyans a run for their money!

No Big Love for the Treadmill

2009-08-04T09:41:00.000-07:00

This morning’s run sucked. I tried to do it on the treadmill. I said it was because today is trash day and I hate having to run past all the sanitation trucks, they are less than pleasantly fragrant. However, it really was because my Season 2 DVDs of Big Love had arrived from Netflix and I was anxious to see what our desperate polygamists were up to now!

MISTAKE!! I can not really run on a treadmill, as I just discovered but had somewhat suspected. I can’t seem to get a rhythm or stride going. Plus, I kept stopping to use the bathroom since I could. Twice in the first mile… the only mile. I was supposed to run three and it took me 20 minutes and 40 seconds to run ONE (and it stops the clock everytime I got off to pee, so that isn’t even factored into the time!)

And my knees were SCREAMING, like STOP THIS NOW CRAZY WOMAN! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING?! (My knees like to express themselves in all caps. They’re very junior high that way.) When I pavement run, they stop hurting pretty quickly and I can just focus on the running. Maybe it’s a mental thing, I don’t know. But physically I just couldn’t do it.

And since I signed on for a friend's challenge, I HAVE to do this run today. Or else post a picture of myself in a bathing suit not just on here, but on Facebook too. Uhm, no thanks. I’d much rather run! And since I was too late at that point to go run outside before work this morning, I now have to go run when I get home. Which I hate. Cause I prefer to collapse in a heap on my bed and watch bad summer programming on television. And now I have to go and be all athletic before I can do that. This is seriously cutting into my lazy-ass lifestyle!

And the humiliation factor kicks in

2009-08-02T20:37:00.000-07:00

Distance: 3 miles
Time: 46 minutes OMG seriously?! seconds
Average: 15 minutes it's just too sad seconds
Marathon Time: 6 hours just really embarrassing minutes

This, my friends, is what happens when you don't run for a whole freakin' week. You lose it all. Badly. Maybe further in to my training, taking off a week won't put me back to square one. But this early in just WOW. I HURT today. Mostly my pride.

I ran the first 20 minutes and then had to walk 5 which turned more into 7 and then ran another 10 and then walked the rest of the way when I realized that I was walking faster than I was running. My gait was akin to something like the hunchback of Notre Dame, kind of a hunched over loping shuffle. I gave it up altogether when I was passed by an old lady... with a walker... and an oxygen tank.

I finally bought those knee brace-y elastic support things. They're tight and a bit constricting and don't allow for full range of motion... which I guess is the whole point of the things. They're going to take some getting used to. Between them and the new earphone things I got, the kind that hook over your ears and it felt like they were going to just pop right off, I was very distracted today. I never really hit a stride or got into my running groove. And it really showed. I need to go get some old fashioned cheap ass headphones. I'm tired of earbuds, earphones... etc... all this new fangled fancy schmancy crap is not working. I need to just go old school here.

And I need some new tunes on my playlist. I created it like two years ago. Time to upgrade and expand.

Next run is Tuesday. I'm keeping it at 3 miles for the next couple runs before I increase mileage again. I have got to get this together.

A Wee Bit of Suckage

2009-07-28T18:48:00.000-07:00

I didn't run today. Bad Tiffany, I know. Headache, cramps, a lousy night's sleep and a fit of laziness. I just didn't have it in me this morning. And right now, I am so freaking tired it's taking all I have just to type this. I'm going to bed super early tonite (actually, I'm in it right now) and just as soon as Gordon Ramsey fires the dumbest of the f***ing donkeys tonite, it's lights OUT.

Tomorrow is 50 minutes on the elliptical. I'm also going to go back to the gym for some weights and strength training. My knees are starting to give me trouble and I've got to get going on my physical therapy. Gotta strengthen those muscles around my kneecaps to help keep them in place. Oh the bane of the super flexible double-jointed. Sorry guys, its not all sexy cheerleaders.

Rah! Rah! Rah!

Just call me Speed Racer

2009-07-26T09:42:00.000-07:00

Distance: 3 miles
Time: 40 minutes 38 seconds
Average: 13 minutes 32 seconds
Marathon Time: 5 hours 54 minutes

I shaved 22 seconds off my time, same run as yesterday. Time for my racing stripes.

I had a whole clever, witty yet biting entry all worked out in my head. And then I was running late to work and didn't get it written. And now it's the end of the work day and my brain is tired and empty.

And my knees are starting to hurt. Like at the end of the day, they are sore in a "it's time to go buy the damn knee braces" sort of way. Freakin' knees. Bane of my existence. Well, that and the children. But the kids will eventually grow up and leave home. The knees I'm stuck with forever. Damn knees.

That's about it. Sad. Very very pathetic entry. I'll try to do better tomorrow. It's a non-run day, I'll be doing about 50 on the elliptical while watching the next episode of Big Love from Netflix. Whatever part of my brain not following the very compelling saga of Desperate Polygamists will be devoted to writing a doubly entertaining post for Monday.

Everybody wants me

2009-07-25T11:34:00.000-07:00

Distance: 3 miles
Time: 41 minutes
Average: 13 minutes 40 seconds
Marathon Time: 5 hours 58 minutes

Sore and TIRED this morning. So my relative speed surprises me! This was definitely my best time yet. Maybe I'm getting the hang of this whole running thing. Cool.

I run around my neighborhood. I could drive on down to the high school track (it's like 5 miles from my house) and run around it every morning. But 4 laps equals one mile and I'd already be doing like 12 laps... let's face it, I'm one who enjoys my run more if I'm not thinking about it. I let my mind wonder off, I get all into the songs on my MP3, I think about what I need to get at the grocery store, Brendan Fraser wanders in and out, you know I just general try to think about anything but how many more MILES I still have to go! So counting laps, it ain't gonna work. And I just KNOW that I'd be like 10 laps in and go... uh... am I just finishing lap 10 or just starting? Definitely NOT cool.

So, I use www.mapmyrun.com and map out my routine depending on that day's mileage (I usually plan it out the night before.) However, since I watch WAY too much CSI, I am continually watching cars that drive by, paying careful attention to any males who just happen to come out of their homes as I run by, and heaven forbid a car or van pulls over to my side of the street! I've crossed the street before. And I stare at them to let them know I SEE THEM! I'm not some stupid woman obliviously running along with a big sign that says please grab me and sexually assault me. Oh no, not me! I make eye contact! I am not one to be messed with!

Have I mentioned that I live in a small town in Marin County. With like NO crime. Ever. Maybe the occasional domestic squabble, or kids setting off, say vinegar and baking soda bombs in the local creek (Tad's still grounded from that one!) But I probably live in one of the safest areas in the country. And besides, who is really going to grab some middle-aged slightly overweight woman who looks like she just escaped from a Rob Zombie movie?

I think my self-esteem just took a hit - even the sexual deviants don't want me. Ouch.

The Non-Marathon Training Diet

2009-07-23T07:35:00.000-07:00

Distance: 2.5 miles
Time: 37 minutes
Average: 14 minutes 48 seconds
Marathon Time: 6 hours 27 minutes 45 seconds

Today's run is the direct result of yesterday's food fiasco. What do Taco Bell, Jack in the Box and Doritos have in common? "Things that do not belong on a Marathon Training diet!" OMG am I feeling the effects of all that saturated fat, salt, and God knows what else. I feel like I took an Extra Value meal, Supersized and strapped it to my gut. UGH. Even my wrists feel fat.

Now, that's not to say that there aren't OK-ish things on most fast food menus. Taco Bell has an entire Fresca section that is supposed to be pretty alright, lower in fat, salt and calories. Jack in the Box has a Chicken Fajita Pita that is not only super-delish but actually almost healthy. Just about every place has salads, but you have to watch out for the extras on them. Cheese, eggs, croutons, and especially those creamy dressings.

And then there's Jared's old stand-by, Subway. Avoid the meatball sub. It's like the worst thing on the menu (and of course, it's my fave!) There's a good selection of low-fat, high protein sandwiches. Oh, and stay away from the tuna salad. It's like pure fat - all mayo, baby!

So back to today's not so great run. And my admission: I didn't run the whole way. I hit 1.6 miles and has to walk .23 miles to catch my breath and kind of get it back together before I picked it back up and finished the run. Now most runners have some walking bits - in long runs. But 2.5 miles is barely a warm up. So, I've got a long way to go, figuratively as well as literally.

However, if I can make a whole person in 9 months, training to run a marathon should be a piece of cake. Of course, I got some pretty great drugs at the end of that 9 months. I wouldn't be surprised if I begging for an epidural towards the end of the 26.2 miles too!

Going the extra .5 mile

2009-07-21T20:29:00.000-07:00

I ran 2 miles in 28 minutes this morning. That averages to 14 minute miles (for the mathematically challenged, sadly I used the calculator function to figure this out before I realized that I was dividing 28 by 2!) This is an improvement from Sunday's 14.66 minute mile average. So I'm feeling pretty cocky right about now. I have no doubt this will change very quickly, so I'm embracing it while I got it!

My not so fun moment this morning was running past a woman taking her dog for a walk. Perfectly nice thing to do on a beautiful Northern California summer morning. Sun just coming up, cool breeze blowing in from the ocean just over the hills, you can actually smell the salt water in the air. However, this wasn't just a dog, but more of a small horse. Some sort of mastiff. Probably outweighed me by 50 pounds, he's pure muscle. And he is not on a leash. No. Leash. I realized as I'm approaching him and his owner, that I'm going to run right past a dog that could swallow small children whole and he will be totally unrestrained. O.M.G.

I don't have a bad history with dogs. I can't recall any traumatic incidents in my childhood where I was bitten or otherwise molested by man's best friend. However, I don't entirely trust them either. Too many kids mauled by the family pet. I don't fear a Pekinese or Chihuahua, they're not going to take me down. Well, not without a fight. But a mastiff, man they can do some serious damage when they're just PLAYING with you! And since I know that's a dog's natural instinct is to chase, I was seriously stressing out about running within biting distance of this particular canine. Like I was just offering myself up as a nice morning buffet.

I needn't have worried, Rover didn't so much as acknowledge my existence. His owner was a very nice lady, waved a high as I galloped on by. But he didn't even deign me with a sideways glance.

So, to all the mastiffs out there, I apologize for my unwarranted profiling. You are obviously a noble and intelligent breed who knows that a middle-aged out of shape woman running at 14 miles an hour isn't worth the exersion. Or the lawsuit.

Non-run day

2009-07-20T22:29:00.000-07:00

Today was a non-run day, so I did 50 minutes on the elliptical while watching an episode of Big Love on DVD. I'm about 5 episodes into Season one and I'm just not feeling it. Everyone I know that watches it, RAVES so I'll keep plugging along. Netflix should have the next disc in my mailbox tomorrow.

Speaking of tomorrow, it's a 2 miler. I've plotted out my course on www.mapmyrun.com so I'm all set to go. My MP3 is charged, clothes laid out, alarm set. No excuses. Well, minimal excuses anyway. My quads are sore, but I'm pretty sure that's from this morning's workout and not yesterday's run. I'm basically taking Advil 'round the clock right now, but that has more to do with the massive pain in my right arm than anything else. If I take it regularly, my arm hurts minimally. But if I stop for a day, WHAM, the muscles in my arm just scream. I have no idea what I've done or what I'm doing. The pain will wake me up at night and make it impossible to go back to sleep. I'm a side sleeper and I wonder if I'm somehow sleeping on that arm in such a way as to injure it? Can it be that after 39 years I've fucked up sleeping? Cause that would be just super!

Fortunately, arms aren't essential for running. They help with the balance and occasional hand gestures to motorists who try to run you down in the crosswalk, but they're not totally required. And so I run.

Day One - only 266 more to go!

2009-07-19T08:16:00.000-07:00

I had an epiphany the other day, or maybe an aneurysm, hard to be sure just yet. In the past 3 months, I have put back on 20 pounds and am now back up to my weight as of last summer. Which is très frustrating! I've just finally come out of a bizarre seasonal depression I seem to suffer from for the past few years. It starts in April and usually lasts into October or so. I don't know if it's triggered by my birthday and the reality of growing older and older (and older!) Or if it's something so vain and superficial as embarrassment of my flabby upper arms and the threat of more revealing summer wardrobes. So I hide myself in an extra insulating layer of blubber and call in fat when the skimpy frocks and outfits appear.

Good news is, this year I've pulled out of my fugue state early. And I decided, I need a goal. A good, hard, long-term goal to work towards. Losing weight & getting in shape just aren't doing it for me. I ran a 5K last December. That felt good. I needed a goal like that. Something solid and concrete to work toward, focus on, circle in red on the calendar. And then it hit me, my 40th birthday is in 9 months. I'm not completely out of shape. I walk some and work out on my elliptical a couple of times a week... usually. Nine months is a total reasonable amount of time to train for a marathon!! Since most marathons (distance races in general) are run on Sundays and my 40th birthday does, in fact, fall on a Sunday next year - well that's just kismet, baby!

So I hit Google, and what should appear? Paris Marathon! And then it all started to come together. I've always wanted to go to Europe. It's on my list of 101 things to do in 1001 days. So is running in a marathon (I always like it when I can kill to birds with one stone!) And wouldn't that just be the best 40th birthday EVER?!

After doing some research and some mulling, I decided to just go for it!! Registration isn't open yet, but I'm checking daily. I want to be one of the first. I am fully committing to this!! I'll be logging my training progress (and set-backs, hopefully they will be few and far between!) My hope for this is to be more than just a journel, a chronical of my journey. But also perhaps a source of inspiration for others. If I can go from being a 220 pound couch potato to a world traveling marathoner in less than three years, well just imagine what you can do!

So today, I laced up my brand new Saucony running shoes, grabbed my MP3 player loaded with a pace-setting playlist (lots of Bon Jovi, baby!) and headed out the door for my first official training run. A 1.5 miler I mapped out with the help of www.mapmyrun.com, an uber helpful website!! I registered for a free account there (cause I'm totally cheap like that!) and now I can save all my different routes. Awesome! Cause training for a marathon is hard enough without having to drive all over town calculating mileage (my old method!)

Here are today's stats:

Run: 1.5 miles
Time: 22 minutes
Per mile average: 14.66

At that pace, it would take me 6.4 hours to complete the marathon. I believe it has a cut off limit of 5 hours 40 minutes, so I'm going to have to step up this pace! However, for a first day out, I don't think that's too horrible.

It's funny, the first .5 miles or so, I HURT. My butt and shins mostly. And I was breathing HARD. There was a pause between songs on my MP3 and oh, man! I sounded like Sean in the midst of an asthma attack. I expected an ambulence to come roaring up any minute, that someone had called to report a woman gasping for her last breaths dying on the sidewalk. Fortunately, the streets of Marin are fairly quiet at 7 a.m. on a Sunday morning. No passerbys to witness my potetial expiration. And so I plunged onward. But about .5 mile into it, I got my rhythm and hit a sort of stride. The pain actually went away (maybe it was just my body throwing a sort of tempertantrum. And like a toddler ignored long enough, eventually just gave up when it realized it wasn't going to get it's way.) My breathing became less ragged and more regular. I felt pretty good. When I wanted to walk, I told myself I just had to make it to the next corner. And when I'd get to that corner, I'd tell myself "just to the next corner" and so on. I ran the whole way! Yay me!!

I can't tell you how exhilarated I feel right now. That first run this morning cemented my goal for me. I can do this. I will do this. I AM doing this!! Paris here I come! Viva la France!!